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Hi Everyone, I'm having a bit of a problem im hoping to get some advice on. My boyfriend and I have been living together by ourselfs for a year now and have been going out for about 6 years. It was so nice to finally have our own place.

Next month my boyfriend is taking a work contract out of town for 4 months. During which time his sister "asked" to live with me. I say it like that becuase she is the kind of person who thinks that everyone will do stuff for her without asking. Me and her get along ok on short term basis, but she is a nightmare to live with. Very messy, comming and going all hours of the night and always seems to be in a bad mood 24 hours a day. So I really don't want her living with me. Besides the fact that I have gotten used to having my own place and not having to share.

So the question is do I say no she cant live with me and deal with my boyfriends parents potentially being pissed at me? Or do I put up with it for 4 months?

Thanks All!
 

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hang on its your house you have what say on who come and goes, put your foot down say no!!
your place your rules, his parents aint paying your mortgage so sod them. your new house isnt a doss for his family or mates. its your love nest it shouldnt be invaded.
 

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Immortal said:
hang on its your house you have what say on who come and goes, put your foot down say no!!
your place your rules, his parents aint paying your mortgage so sod them. your new house isnt a doss for his family or mates. its your love nest it shouldnt be invaded.
I agree. It's better dealing with parents being angry over something stupid than to have to deal with that stuff for months.
 

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True....and if she doesn't pay rent because of her "family" status and you try to evict someone you live with, you and your cat's life could be endangered. If she doesn't appreciate what you do from the very beginning, there is no way for her to appreciate as time goes on. People just don't magically increase their appreciation on how hard other people try to help them. She would take your help for granted. When finally the time comes for her to move out, she could be angry. Anger would turn to resentment, which is an extremely dangerous thing.


That is the worst case scenario.
 

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Rent was never discussed. I feel bad in one sense because I know she has no where else to go. And this would start in May. Not giving her much time to find somewhere else to go. But on the other sense, I shouldn't have to put up with being uncomfortable for that long. And the reason she has no where else to go is because all of the other roommates she had would never live with her again. I don't like how she and my b/f's parrents assumed I would say yes to her living with me.
 

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If she has nowhere else to go, how about her parents take her in rather than being angry that you won't rearrange your life for her?
 

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If she has nowhere else to go right now....what makes you think she would magically find the purpose of her life? Her life would be incredibly comfortable......an apartment.....no rent......someone to constantly clean up after her.....nobody to criticize her due to her "family" status.....people think you are heartless and non-Christian for trying to evict her.....she orders the most expensive TV, the most expensive internet, takes hour-long showers, eats all of your food with her friends, set the AC to 60 degrees due to her obesity, significantly increases your living expenses, evict your cat, not let you sleep for more than three hours at a time by having intimate relationships right next to you.

Sorry, but giving her welfare for being down is no answer. People should be responsible for themselves. What makes you think she would move after she moves in? She would more likely than not not pay any rent at all....which would put a strain on your relationship with your boyfriend. Her life would be wonderful. Your life would be ****.

Don't do that. I barely survived such things myself. I would gladly trade twenty years of my life for such things to never have happened, but it did.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Her parents live 4 hours away in an small community and she is comming to the big city to finish school. shengmei makes sense. Im afraid that she will get too comfortable and try and stay even longer. She plays the family card all the time. She knows that im too nice to say anything about how much mess she makes around the house. We only have a two bedroom house thats really small. I don't want to have to live my life around her schedule when its my house.

I know my boyfriends parents will be angry about it. They will think that im putting her out on the street and putting them in a bind to have to pay for her rent somewhere else.
 

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akstacey88 said:
I know my boyfriends parents will be angry about it. They will think that im putting her out on the street and putting them in a bind to have to pay for her rent somewhere else.
Yes, well THEY had her...not you...it's THEIR responsiblity, in my opinion. I hope you don't get to much crap from them because you turn her down.
 

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Well, with the inlaws...it would be better to hold your ground sooner than later.

I am blessed with wonderful inlaws, but sometimes I still put my foot down.

There are cheap one-bedroom apartments in almost every city. Sometimes a motel would be even cheaper. If there is a will, there is a way.

What makes you think your inlaws would not be even 10X furious when you finally evicts her? I was terrified that my enemy would do something to me, so I said yes. Turns out she tried to suffocate me anyway.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
I have to say "no" to it. I feel bad, but at the same time I got to stand up for myself or people will always be walking all over me. If his parents decide to hate me because i won't let their daughter move in on me and take over my own place, than so be it. My boyfriend already voiced opinions about how she is to live with, but they see it as he wont be there because he will be away from work, so its up to me. They do that knowing that I dont have the heart to say no. But this time i have to.
 

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Discussion Starter #14
Me and her get along fine if we just go to the mall or to a movie, but to live with? I think i would not want her as a friend when it was all over with.
 

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Same here.

I was amazed that after all that happened, she got me to babysit her kid for free for the whole summer. I would never trust anybody who I have hurted in the past to take care of my kid.

I love her kid. I would never do anything to that little girl. However, I was absolutely shocked when she placed her kid at my care, knowing how I feel about her.
 

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ok hunny think of it this way...
1) 4 months of **** with someone who doesnt aprreciate you and prolly wont pay rent.

2)she may not find another place and will appeal to your fella and she will end up stayiong longer.

3) since when did you become baggage carrier for his families problem siblings?

4)think of yourself for once. your house!! your house !!! your house!!! you only just got it and now your expected to share it with someone you dont even like? talk about invasion of personal space!!!!!

say NO and dont feel bad cos your protecting your kingdom!!!
 

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Two women, even friends, often don't get along in the same house. You can't have your favorite chair, if she sits there, the ice cream you were counting on for your sweet tooth, because she ate it, the soap powder you use to wash her clothes, the TV program you wanted to watch because she has the remote, time to relax, because she is watching your tv while you do her dishes, the money you spent on her food, ad nauseum! For months? I'm afraid that would be asking for trouble.

Even family company for a week gets tiresome--for all of those reasons. I never minded doing all of that for my husband and children, but she is not even a relative. Say no, nicely, but firmly. [/b]
 

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akstacey88 said:
Rent was never discussed. I feel bad in one sense because I know she has no where else to go. And this would start in May. Not giving her much time to find somewhere else to go.
She needs to take responsibility for herself. She knows she needs a place by May but hasn't done anything about it? That's her fault, not yours. She's put herself in a bind and is assuming you'll help her out of it.

It sounds like a potential disaster. This woman sounds irresponsible and disrespectful to past roommates. Be polite, firm, and say no!
 

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and being it's your boyfriends family, let him be the one to tell them so,

I'm sure he can come up with other reasons that have nothing to do with you,

so you'll be free of the blame.
 
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