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This is so hard to write. I've been dreading writing this for 2 years since he was diagnosed with kidney failure. If love could of saved you, you never would of died. He is the best cat i ever had. It was aweful when i had to PTS. I put him in a woven basket and he freaked in the car. I had to hold him down but he was so weak he hardly faught me. At the vets they asked if i wanted to be with him. Yes. He was with me for 17 years of love. I had to be there for him as he had been there for me. He literally saved my life. The tech came in and i said i think he died, but he wasn't quite yet. He gasped for breath. She asked if i wanted to wait for the vet. No. Do it. Do it right now. It broke my heart to see him suffer like this and to see him gasping. The trip to the vet's did him in, but he was going to die anyway. I wished i had called the traveling vet and had it done at home. Afterwards i said i wanted some of his fur and the vet tech came in with the shaver. I said not now i'm too upset and i don't want to see you do this. I held him for a few minetues and told him i love you. I'll love you forever. I always told him love you, love you always. I'm so heart broken. It feels like someone stabbed me in the heart. He's left pawprints on my heart.

He was the best. He never bite or scratched me. He had the greatest personality. He never, and i mean never, did anything wrong. He was the perfect cat and that makes it so harder to lose him. He put up with my constant kisses on his cute, little rubber nose because i loved him so much. I'm sorry if i made you suffer. I didn't know.

I blame the vet in a way. I don't know if it would of made a difference or not. After his 2nd day of dialysis he rubbed his body against the vet. Something he never did so i think he felt kind of good. The mistake the vets made was not putting him on sub-q fluids when he came home until 4 days later but by then it was too late. He was just miserable and laying around waiting to die. I'm switching vets. They just didn't know anything about kidney disease which seems hard to imagine since they work with dogs and cats. Also all they thought about was the money. I've been with them since 1983. Now they are history.

Geets seems to be doing ok. He knew Razzle was dying.

I miss my boy so much and later i will post a memorial of him. I just can't do it right now because i'm so upset. I cry everyday for him. I miss you my baby boy and i'm sorry if i made you suffer and even though it was so hard to be there for you at the end, i'm glad i was there for you.

RIP Kathy
 

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Kathy,
My heart breaks for you. Razzle sounds like he was a wonderful little guy. Some day, not soon, but some day, you will start to remember all of his wonderful little quirks and a smile will be in your heart.

You were there with him and let him go free when he needed to leave you. That is the hardest thing for us and the best thing for them.
 

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Wow my heart goes out to you. Im so so sorry. He sounds like he was your heart cat. I know you had a wonderful life together. Please don't second guess yourself of how you could of done it better. You are a wiser cat person because of Razzle and your other cats will benefit. He is with you now in spirit. He hasn't left you. I hope all the happy memories heal your broken heart.


 

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Kathy, I'm so sorry for your pain and your loss. Just never forget the good life you
gave Razzle and all the wonderful years you had together. You were showing your
love for him by letting him go and not letting him suffer anymore.

I had to make the same decisions for two of my cats and for both my husband and son.......
your pain is natural and completely normal because of your love for Razzle. Sending comforting
hugs to you.....Phyllis
 

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Kathy, I am so sorry for your loss of Razzle. I really don't know what to say at times like this. Words can comfort only so much after a loss like this. My heart is breaking for you. You did everything you could for him and he knew love because of you. Remember the beautiful and funny times you shared. Hugs to you.
 

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My heart breaks for you............I know this pain all to well. This november 2 days before thanksgiving will be two years since my Mr. Sophie past away and it still breaks my heart and forever will. My girls kept asking me what I wanted for Christmas the year he passed and I didn't want anything because nothing really mattered; my heart was shattered. But then it came to me and I'm glad it did. I asked for a locket with his name on it. I wear it everyday and never really take it off. This way I carry him with me always.. The inscription on the back says, "love you always". And it is very special. I clasp it in my hands when I talk to him and it makes me feel close to him. Maybe you could have something like this as well. He was my baby, my heart; and now he lays right next to it everyday. Many, many hugs and prayers for you.
 

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I'm so sorry. Just know Razzle isn't suffering...he is free. A locket for him sounds wonderful idea. My heart goes out to you.
 

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hugs and kisses for both you and razzle, kathy. he is at peace now and you were the greatest friend to him for his entire life filled with wonderful, loving memories. remember all the happy times and know that he is waiting for you at the rainbow bridge. :angel
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Thanks everyone for your words of wisdom and sympathy. That's all i can say because i'm crying for my baby.

Kathy
 

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You should cry - you need to - it's part of healing. You will never stop loving him, never stop missing him but never forget that you gave to him jut as much as he gave to you - right to the end. You will meet again.
 

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Kathy I am sorry. Razzle knew how much you loved him.
I know that no words can take away the pain. You are loved. Razzle is close to you when are you are able to "be still" you will feel him.
 

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Kathy I am so sorry for your lost. Even though it's been almost 5 years since I lost my Rascal, reading your post makes it feel like yesterday. To deal with the grief, I wrote in a notebook everyday to try and capture all the memories I had of Rascal. Over time the grief turned to a feeling of having been blessed with such a wonderful companion.
 

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I'm so sorry. Razzle sounds like a really special kitty.

As painful as it is, you do have a lot of Forum members here who have gone through something very similar. We do understand. Now if the rest of the world would just understand as you struggle to make it through a work day without crying. It's one of the hardest and strongest things we do, take on the responsiblity of caring for a cat when we know the likelihood is that they'll die before we will.
 

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It took 3 full weeks after Ziggy died before I could make it through an entire day without crying. And then it was another 6 days before I could make it through another. It's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. We understand and are here to support you. It really is like losing your best friend in the world.
 

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So very sorry for your loss. Razzle sounds like such a special boy. Just know that the greatest gift we can giver our companion animals is to truly let them know they are loved. Razzle is free from his suffering now, and I am certain he knew how very much he was loved.
 

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I'm so sorry for your loss, Kathy. No words can make you feel any better right now, but try to take comfort in the fact that Razzle is at peace and you will always have your wonderful memories of him.
 

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Discussion Starter #17
Razzle 1995-2012 memorial

I wanted to post this on July 25. Exactly a year after he died but I couldn't figure out how without having to pay for it till now. You tube was there all along. I can't believe it's been a year. Sometimes it feels like it was yesterday and sometimes it feels like long ago.

This is his memorial for my heart kitty. If the video doesn't show please let me know so I can fix it.

Razzle memorial 1 - YouTube

Kathy
 

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A beautiful tribute for a beautiful cat. So many memories, interesting to see with the date-stamp camera all the different years he touched your family. It just hurts so much when we have to let them go. Wishing you well a year later.
 

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Such beautiful pictures, and they really give a sense of his personality. I see he liked: running water, sleeping on his back with all paws up in the air, being scrunched into small spaces, being completely covered with or surrounded by things with just his head poking out, and wearing outfits. I especially loved the little baby outfit and the graduation cap. Putting this together must have been both a painful and joyous experience - I hope more joyous than painful.
 

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Kathy, that is a beautiful and moving tribute to Razzle...I'm afraid I'm all misty eyed now....
You two had a special relationship...
I am so sorry for your loss.
Hugs and prayers to you. ♡♡♡
 
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