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Discussion Starter #1
So one of my sisters(Noelle) is married to a nitwit slob. She married him when she was 18, they lived with my parents for four years, never in that time managing to save up enough money to put a downpayment on a house. While they were there they had 2 kids. Finally my parents helped them buy a tiny house and right after moving out they had their third child.

Noelle's husband (Mark) had been momma's boy, he was spoiled rotten by his mother and didn't know anything about well...anything. He regularly quit his jobs which caused my sister to at one point end up working 3 jobs just to keep afloat. Few years go by they buy a brand new house they could barely afford. Then Mark decided a brand new house deserves brand new everything, so in comes new computers, new stereo system with speakers in the walls, new leather couch, New plasma HD TV, and so on. Every Christmas they spent a minimum of $5,000 (cause according to them the kids would fight if they didn't each get one each of the new video systems) Yup you heard correctly, each of their three children has their own TV, Playstation, Xbox, and whattheheckever else is the latest and greatest in gaming! :roll:

Well Mark finally decided he doesn't want to work anymore (he was working part time as a security guard before) and has filed for dissability because he says "His ankles hurt" :evil: :evil: :evil:

So my sister again has 3 jobs, but thats not cutting it, they are $78k in credit card debt!!! So Marks brilliant idea? Send their oldest who just turned 16 to work and take his money (but he PROMISES to pay it back....yeah right)

Reality check needed on aisle 7!!

Can I get a ***?!!!!
 

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Who the.... What the ???? Geez wish I had playstation and xbox and no job to stay on and play them all day :roll: ....hmmm better be careful with the no job fantasy my company isnt doing so hot.... :?
 

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That's awful! I can't believe he would free-ride on his own children that way. Somebody needs to learn about responsibility... ugh!
 

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The poor children

Children sharing toys etc is all apart of the socialising children do at that age. If they each have thier own thing they want they will never learn :roll:

and fancy taking his childrend money....
 

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Discussion Starter #9
What does your sister see in him? He's worthless. Why is she still with him?!?!?!?
Well...Noelle has always been a head in the clouds type person. She constantly dreamed of the day her handsome knight in shining armor would sweep her off her feet and they would live happily ever after. She's into pink frilly things, lace, and unicorns. And shes VERY meek and mild. The reason for this is she is my parents first girl, my father insisted she be raised 'properly' meaning she 'knows her place' and 'fulfills her duty as a woman to get married and have children and let her husband make all the decisions' So when Mark came along when she was 18 she immediatly threw her college plans out the window and instead fell for what she wanted to believe was her dream man.

Everyone in the family knew Mark was a lazy jerk. When Noelle was pregnant SHE had to mow the lawn while HE took naps. But she still had on the rose colored glasses, until she had to get a job. Thats when she met other married women, who were happily married and had freedom (Noelle didn't get her drivers license until she was 25, before that Mark didn't allow it, until the kids needed to be taken to school and he didn't want to get up that early) Things started to decline when she got a job and she realised what she was saddled with. At one point she almost left him, but my parents guilt tripped her because of her children and she stayed. Now she has resigned herself to her life basicly.
 

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Just think of it this way if Noelle came out and started badmouthing her husband she probably couldn't stop. My first husband was like that. It was horrible!!! He cheated on me and then that was it. I was outtaa there! GONZO! Don't worry. Her eyes are open. She just may be biding her time.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
I doubt it, she's 35, she's been with him since she was 18. Not that I can say much in that matter, I started dating my ex husband at 16 and didn't leave him til I was 23.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
Oh yeah I forgot to mention, they took a second mortgage out on their house, and even with Noelle working 3 jobs they can't pay the mortgage, so its probably going to be foreclosed. /sigh. You would think since Mark isn't working and Noelle has 3 jobs that he would at least clean up the house and make food for the kids right? Nope.

Honestly looking at my sisters marriage and realising mine was heading the same direction is what gave me the courage to finally leave my ex.
 

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Discussion Starter #14
He gets up slowly acting like he's in pain and then hobbles around and says "I would love to work, but my ankles hurt so bad I can barely stand!"

Uhuh, and two years ago it was his back. Which if you remind him of he will instantly groan, put a hand on his back and tell you how it still constantly pains him but he's "Being strong"
 

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My God...78k in debt?? That is absolutely horrible. I hate to sound negative or anything, but that sounds like a lifelong debt now. I would be scared to hear how much interest they pay on that *shudders*. This guy your sister is with sounds like a real loser and something will need to be done about it. Have you considered gathering all your family and all her friends and having an intervention of some kind? Im sure in some part of her mind, she realizes how bad her situation is, but with everyone she cares about telling her, it may make enough of an impact to motivate her to do something. Im assuming this debt is in both of their names? If so, mabye something can be done in court (during the divorce proceedings) to make him help with the debt as she moves on with her life. Your parents may not agree, but they share a small part of the responsibilty for making her stay with him.
 

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This is tragic. :( And it sounds like something from several generations ago! Your sister's life is being ruined. I think if (unlikely) your sister went to a lawyer, she could get some very helpful advice. Why should a woman take care of a lazy man who lies around the house and puts his wife out to work three jobs? Easy! She shouldn't, and I think the law would see it that way. He probably, with some help from your parents, has her thinking she's worthless and couldn't make it alone. Hah! He'd be the helpless one.
 
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