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Today I had to PTS, Jeepers, one of my fosters. She was only a baby at 3 1/2 months.

She came to the cattery with her 4 sisters and brother. They were all feral on arrival and obviously had never seen any love or gentle handling in their short lives. Luckily most of them were rehomed very quickly (which is great because normally the nervous ones don't get a look-in when there are other kittens around) and only Jeepers and her brother, Jigs, were left in the cattery at the end of last week. But then Jeepers got sick. Really, really sick. She stopped eating and drinking and lost all her weight in the space of 2 or 3 days. She suddenly became friendly and affectionate too, as if she knew she needed us to make her better.

I brought her home for some TLC. She was a completely strong and healthy kitten before this so we thought she was just under-the-weather and her illness would pass in time. The vet gave her fluids and a tonic and we were syringing food and milk into her since she wouldn't eat on her own. The next day there was no improvement so she went back and got more fluids. Then Jeepers started vomiting up everything that we managed to get down her and her stools turned liquid and off-white. The vet showed me how to give her the fluid injections and she had them 3 times a day but it was the only thing keeping her going.

This morning I took her to the vet again. We agreed we couldn't go on like this. We both wanted to get tests done to find the actual cause of the problem but of course there were no funds to pay for them so the kindest thing we could do was let her go. She purred and cuddled into me all the time until the sedation kicked in.

I should be used to this by now but I'm still heartbroken. There's always the self-doubt and second-guessing in a situation like this. Did we try hard enough to save her? Wasn't there any other option? And I feel so guilty for having to make this decision. Jeepers deserved and needed a life and a loving home as much as any other kitten but now she doesn't have that chance. That's the worst thing; all she ever knew was fear and uncertainty and pain. That's the worst life for any animal to have.

Rest in peace Jeepers. I'm sorry I couldn't save you.
 

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i'm so sorry. I share your pain and i totally understand every decision like this is always so hard to make. there is never anything easy about it. you did the very best you could given the circumstances. i hope all the GOOD you do for every cat you meet continues to outweigh any sadness. the sadness is just a part of the life and death cycle and is unfortunately unavoidable. take heart in knowing that you made Jeepers feel comfortable and safe in the end. she is in a better place now. :angel

Keep up the good work. and thank you so much for what you do.
 

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I am so sorry for you having to go through that. How can it be easy to see life slip away under any circumstance. From what I read you put in a great effort to help this kitten. And she got to die in someone's arms purring and comfortable. She was not alone. You did well by her.
 

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Really sorry, you did the best for Jeepers & she'll know that.. I had to make a similar decision for Brody back in March & it broke my heart, I know he's in a better place & is still with me, that bond can't ever be broken & just hold the rainbow bridge in your heart.. ImageUploadedByPG Free1376606835.845365.jpg


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I'm so sorry! I know just how hard it is, but it must be doubly hard to see someone so young go so soon. She knew love and kindness in her short life. You could not have done more. Hugs to you.
 

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I'm so sorry. We had some similar happen to us as well. Our kitten started throwing up, barely eating, very loving, and then i found him under the bed the next day he passed. I didn't even get to take him to the vet he was actually going that day. Do you know what caused it? Just curious to see if maybe it happened to our kitten as well.
 

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I know that pain and guilt that comes with that decision....you may never figure it out...she knows you loved her... I am so sorry for your loss and here along with this beautiful fur baby family going through and holding the rainbow bridge close to our hearts...hugs to you....your fur baby is playing with my Link:)) hugs!


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So sorry to hear this...
It always hurts to lose one, no matter how long or how short we've had them...
They so quickly find their way into our hearts..
Prayers and Hugs
 

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Discussion Starter #10
Thanks for your support everyone :) You made me cry again!

JesseKath: I'm so sorry for your kitten too. The vet was just stabbing into the dark for the cause as without tests we'll never know but she was leaning towards it being something like Feline AIDS or leukemia. Not knowing the problem makes it twice as hard, doesn't it?
 

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It does. I also thought he died from feline leukemia, because the main reason i read that some cases the lymph notes swell up and once he was laying on my chest and he tried to meow at me but nothing came out. :( Poor baby
 

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Discussion Starter #12
It does. I also thought he died from feline leukemia, because the main reason i read that some cases the lymph notes swell up and once he was laying on my chest and he tried to meow at me but nothing came out. :( Poor baby
My vet also said that swollen lymph nodes were a sign although Jeepers' were fine when she was sick which is why we didn't come to that conclusion right away :( Thank goodness these occurrences are few and far between.
 
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