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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello,
I really hope i can get some tips and tricks!
i am not a cat owner myself. i do love cats and all animals.
My boyfriend has 2 amazingly sweet cats. 1 is very in your face. she loves to get pets and to cuddle.
the other older cat is the one i have questions about.

My boyfiend can pet her. she wants to cuddle and loves to lay down next or on top of him. not like all the time but when she wants to. when he picks her up she is fine and just a very sweet lady.

Me on the other hand..... i can give her treats. sometimes she eats out of my hand and sometimes she does not want to and i just lay it on the floor. when im getting the treat she rubs past my legs and jumps on top of me like, omg yes treats. but i can NOT pet her. sometimes when i invite her she snifs my hand. i just sit still let her walk to me and she takes a fast sniff. big succes!!! but sometimes she walks up to me snifs my hand and gives a warning bite and a big hiss. i really do not understand why and what i did wrong.

when im just sitting she walks over me or past me. she sleeps near my feet. and all that is fine. other times her back is twitching and she looks scared or stressed i think..? one time when i was walking past her i took something out of my bag and she must have tought i wanted to pet her, she bit and gave a hiss like NO. im not forcing her at all! but its been like this for half a year now. I would just like to know how i can let her now i wont pick her up and im really not scary! i dont expect her to be oke with cuddles and pets. but iwould be nice that when i walk past her she can just keep sleeping or chilling. and not fear my hand or feel to warn and hiss when i get near. (oh she does this with everybody exept my boyfriend) one friend was like maybe if you just pet her she sees its not a big deal and his hand got very bloody....
my boyfriend told me that when she was a kitten to many people picked her up and forced her to play and cuddle, so i can totaly understand the little lady!
sorry for the long story! and bad english!
hope anyone can give some tips hehe
 

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That certainly is frustrating! You're not doing anything wrong, and it's really nice that you care enough to keep trying. Cats set their own pace and we need to let them. The first thing you could do is go to Youtube and look up Jackson Galaxy. He has videos about all the signals cats give and what they mean. Knowing what to watch for can avoid bites and scratches.

Meanwhile, keep doing what you're doing by letting her come to you when she wants, let her sniff your hand and rub against you, and talk to her in a calm and soothing voice. Offer her treats and let her decide if she wants them or not, but only give her treats when she's calm and behaving appropriately. Don't move towards her or reach for her. When you do have to walk by her or get something near her, don't make eye-contact or say anything. Just ignore her and go about your business. If you have other people visiting, make sure they all do the same.

A good way to bond with cats is with play. Use things like wand-toys, cat-kickers, and laser-lights or whatever she likes, have 15-20 play sessions throughout the day, and give her treats and praise afterwards. That helps cats to burn off lots of excess energy and associates you with a fun activity.

Once you're both completely comfortable with that with no biting or hissing, you could try this: When your boyfriend is holding the cat and petting her, move near him and at the same time he's petting her, you give her a little pet too. Don't talk to her or make eye-contact, and pet her only around her head and ears and only for a moment. Don't touch any other part of her and stay away from her mouth and paws. Stop immediately if she shows any sign of anxiety and quietly walk away. Keep trying that now and then until she's completely comfortable with it. When she is, have your boyfriend just hold her while you pet her, and over time, slowly increase the amount of time you pet her. It's very important for you to stay calm and relaxed when you're interacting with her, so she stays calm and relaxed too.

Good luck and let us know how things are going!
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
That certainly is frustrating! You're not doing anything wrong, and it's really nice that you care enough to keep trying. Cats set their own pace and we need to let them. The first thing you could do is go to Youtube and look up Jackson Galaxy. He has videos about all the signals cats give and what they mean. Knowing what to watch for can avoid bites and scratches.

Meanwhile, keep doing what you're doing by letting her come to you when she wants, let her sniff your hand and rub against you, and talk to her in a calm and soothing voice. Offer her treats and let her decide if she wants them or not, but only give her treats when she's calm and behaving appropriately. Don't move towards her or reach for her. When you do have to walk by her or get something near her, don't make eye-contact or say anything. Just ignore her and go about your business. If you have other people visiting, make sure they all do the same.

A good way to bond with cats is with play. Use things like wand-toys, cat-kickers, and laser-lights or whatever she likes, have 15-20 play sessions throughout the day, and give her treats and praise afterwards. That helps cats to burn off lots of excess energy and associates you with a fun activity.

Once you're both completely comfortable with that with no biting or hissing, you could try this: When your boyfriend is holding the cat and petting her, move near him and at the same time he's petting her, you give her a little pet too. Don't talk to her or make eye-contact, and pet her only around her head and ears and only for a moment. Don't touch any other part of her and stay away from her mouth and paws. Stop immediately if she shows any sign of anxiety and quietly walk away. Keep trying that now and then until she's completely comfortable with it. When she is, have your boyfriend just hold her while you pet her, and over time, slowly increase the amount of time you pet her. It's very important for you to stay calm and relaxed when you're interacting with her, so she stays calm and relaxed too.

Good luck and let us know how things are going!
Thankyou so much!! im glad to hear what im doing is alright! I will defenitly play with her more often! I got her a laser pen today and she loves it! thankyou for the tip! im going to play with her a lot now hehe.

Ill keep updating on here!
 
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