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Should I try a personal introduction agency in my pursuit for true love?

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5,533 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
This a repost - apparently my initial post was pulled from the forum last night by mistake.

I've tried the internet dating thing but haven't had much luck at all ... only had one date and havent had any replies from other people who I have contacted from the site.

I've never really felt comfortable with the whole internet thing, and perhaps I was giving off vibes ... but I am considering using a personal introduction agency.

I quite like the idea of everyones ID being checked and having a face-to-face interview before being 'matched' with someone but am worried about wasting my money.

All opinions/ thoughts/ advice much appreciated.

439 Posts
a personal introduction agency - or to simplify this discussion - at matchmaker,
is only effective if you specialize and limit the demographic of potential suitors.

for example, if you only want to meet;
fellow professional musicians
fellow mormons
fellow blue bloods
fellow self made millionaires

then a matchmaker who specializes in that particular demographic
can not only vet you and potential suitors, but is known in that
particular demographic community, and can attract a large stable
of male and female suitors for matching.

without this limiting focus, you are paying for nothing more than backround
checks being done on people, to make sure they are who they say they are.
after that, personal introduction agencies simply coach like suitors together.
since deception does not seem to be your problem, paying for this won't help.

there are hundreds of online dating web sights.
don't be discouraged that one didn't help you.

most likely your profile, not the sight, is the problem.
you may want to spend money on a professional
to spruce up your profile, and your photographs.
this is no different from someone having their
Curriculum Vitae (resume) professionally rewritten.

another trick is to have a good friend rewrite
your profile. often others see you differently
then you see yourself, and they can compose
a profile that stresses your sweetest qualities,
and drop your distracting clutter.

you might want to have this same good friend
monitor your correspondence. often people can
turn off potential suitors with their writing style.
the above thread is of a women who wrote that
to me on a dating sight after I simply mentioned
I had recently adopted some cats. I didn't meet her.

keep in mind the same stable of singles often
migrate between the same group of date sights,
so you may want to try a sight with a different
slant, or demographic than you did previously.

I've been meeting a lot of great new people on activity sights like;
here you search for activities or interests for your geographic area,
then join like minded people doing what you already like to do best.
what's great about meeting people this way, is their first impression
of you is more balance against them seeing you at what you do best,
or know most about. so people get immediately past superficialities
they might ordinarily get stuck on at a dating web sight or a disco.
meetup's are also easier for women to ask men out, since they can
do it under the guise of wanting to explore more shared interests.

recent thread on meeting new people;

Premium Member
28,623 Posts
I voted, "I don't know," but I assume these agencies do background checks. It would be safer, as long as you meet in a public place and don't give out your address until you are sure this person can be trusted. Then if you're really interested and he is too, I would do a background check personally. I hope you're very careful, and that you find Prince Charming himself!

12,673 Posts
I voted "yes" and the reason why is that I feel you should take advantage of all opportunities to hone your socializing skills.

"in pursuit of" doesn't necessarily mean you will meet your True Love through one of these services but I do think they can help you with meeting people, making small-talk and feeling natural and comfortable doing so. I chit chat with everyone around me because I am homebound so much and I am curious about the people around me and enjoy hearing the little snippets of their lives and opinions or even just discussing the weather or whatnot. One of my fave people to chit chat with is my mail delivery lady. I try to be up at the mailbox when she delivers at least once a week and we have a quick 1min chat before she continues her route. I think it breaks up both our days nicely.

6,955 Posts
Allie, I don't know if things are like this in London, but here in the Washington, DC area I heard form someone who used that type of service that the agency had about 90% women as clients. The service promised something like 2 dates, and what my friend figured out is that they kept recycling the same men over and over to meet the demand of all the women who were expecting to be fixed up. It was also very expensive.

I'm not sure your odds of finding someone would be any better using a 'matchmaker' than if you did it yourself with online personals. Hey, in either case you'd have to be careful, right?
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