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My heart is broken. Things have been up and down, up and down, up and down. Worked all weekend and thought things were pretty decent. Had been keeping them apart a good bit, but no major drama to speak of.

She hasn't been eating much (she does go through phases like this though). Wanted nothing to do with dinner and nothing to do with breakfast. I can't pill her without a serious fight, and to me giving her anti-anxiety medication but causing a **** of an anxiety attack while giving the medication is completely stupid. So if she's not eating, she's not getting her meds.

She the night with me. When I got up, fed everyone and go back in bed (have a bit of a stomach bug and am not feeling so great). Left the door open. Tristan and Logan came to join me in bed. At one point, she jumped up on the bed and I grabbed him to prevent him from running away. After a brief stare down she decided to leave. A few hours after being up and about I went into the bathroom. She was on the bed and he came following me in. She was alert, but didn't react to him in the room. We left with no incident. Again, good stuff.

But I had left the door to the back porch open so they could go out and come back as they pleased. I never saw him come into the main area of the house, just heard the explosion. This was the worst of all the fights I've seen. She backed off and went back at him several times before I could get out there. She managed to pull his collar off, and the porch was covered in chunks of his fur. I finally managed to get her in the house and away from him, but she sat at the door ready to attack again, including the dogs that came near. I gave him a quick once over to make sure there was no blood (so far I haven't found any) and removed a hunk of her hair from between his toes, along with a broken toenail. He's obviously shaken.

I got her back into my bedroom. Without even a second thought, I picked up the phone and called my mom. My first words were "Can you take Skylar?" and immediately broke down crying. I haven't stopped since.

Going to pack up food, litter, medications and bring her over later today. I don't know what else to do. I really want to insist that she still gets her medication every day. Maybe a couple of months away where she can be happy and relaxed while do her good and we can try again. But I'm pretty sure this is never going to work. I've finally realized this is not fair to anyone. It can't continue.

I know its for the best, but I feel like I have failed. I may look for a new home for Tristan while she is away. If I'm not rushed and have a good amount of time to find a good home I may feel better about the whole situation. The reality is she can't live with my mother forever, and I don't think its ever going to work with both of them in my house.
 

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She's settled in and happy. I'm still tearful.

I did post about Tristan on FB and immediately got a response from the girl who was sort of responsible for him finding his way to me. She's the girlfriend of a guy I work with. She's in charge of adoptions through our humane society. She got me started fostering kittens a while back... he was my first foster.

She had a kitten die shortly after her spay a while back and her other cat has been very lonely since. She offered to take him for me. I wrote her a long email explaining the situation, that I wasn't ready to let him go but that I was hoping to line up possibilities just in case I needed them if things went bad quickly after bringing Skylar back home...

So at least there's that.
 

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Sorry to hear you had to go through all that, but I think you made the right decision, tho it is a temporary placement with your mom. Good thing that she was able to take Skylar. Don't feel like you failed, sometimes cats just can't get along.
 

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I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through. Sometimes, the "bad blood" gets to the point where the cat just instinctively reacts badly. It's almost like "I see Tristan...I must stalk, chase, hiss or fight". I think the separation is best for everyone concerned. You can't continue to live that way, and neither can the cats. Perhaps once they've been apart for a few months, they'll forget their prior "bad blood", and you'll be able to re-introduce Skylar and break the pattern. I wish you luck.
 

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I'm sorry, Jessie. You had to do what was best for everyone.
 

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I'm sorry this is happening, OsnobunnieO. I tried to do some background research, and from what I can tell, Skylar and Carson are the resident cats. And the newcomers are the two kittens, Tristan and Logan. So my question is, how do Skylar and Carson get along? Maybe the kittens need new homes?

If I didn't get the cat "dynasty" right, I apologize; I was trying to piece together what happened. Good luck!:catmilk
 

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You're correct. To be technical:

Brody (dog) is 4 1/2 or so. She was the first.
Then came Skylar (she's about 3). She grew up thinking Brody was mom. Would nurse on her lips every night when we went to bed :)
Carson came next. She's about 2. I didn't have hopes of keeping her as any foster or otherwise temporary kitten that came in the house, Skylar HATED (even when she was still very young herself). But after a month or so, they were getting along just fine and playing a little. They've never really had problems.
Once I was settled into my new house I added two french bulldogs. One went to a new home about 6-8 months after I got her as her personality just wasn't a good match to the house. The other, Dylan, is still here. Skylar is fine with them.
I also started fostering kittens a while back. Tristan was in the first pair I fostered. He's about 8 months old now. She never liked any of the new kittens, but would venture down to the basement occasionally where they were to hiss at them, nothing too unusual.
Logan is my newest. She's now at 6 months old. Skylar has no real problems with her either (she will grown when she's in her face or trying to eat her food, but just backs down and walks away from her when that doesn't work)

The problems started when Tristan was about 5-6 months old. At first it was just chasing, and I thought she was trying to play (even though to this day she doesn't really "play" with anyone). With time things got worse and worse. Her attention has ALWAYS been focused on him. I thought it was a hormone thing as he was the only male and approaching his "big boy" stage... he was neutered around 6 months old and things never got better.

I've got Feliway plug ins in the rooms that the cats spend most of their time in, have tried a couple of Flower Essence type remedies and finally resorted to putting her on Prozac and him on Buspirone. Hoping that the Prozac would calm her down and the Buspirone would make him stand up and turn on her, thus making her less likely to see him as a victim and leave him alone.

The more I read, the more I see about cats reaching a social maturity at about her age and that's when things tend to become a problem. But its still just him she has a problem with. Although she's much happier as an only cat (my mother was amazed at how affectionate she's been since she's been at her house... she doesn't like to compete for attention here but is always very sweet and cuddly with me).

If she's here away from him, she's fine. And as long as he knows she's not around he's fine. So I'm hoping with some time away from each other and a VERY VERY slow re-introduction after time for medications to kick him without added anxiety, maybe there is hope. If not, I may have a home lined up for Tristan. As much as she may be lonely without him, Logan will still be perfectly happy here and I think that Skylar is fine with her as well.
 
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