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First:
I work from home and need Smudge to not climb on my desk while I'm working. Sometimes she's happy to sit in my lap, but most of the time, she likes to walk around. I'd prefer not to shut her out of the room, especially since we have glass doors and she can see me! I had a thought this morning to use my keyboard's "play" button to blast a bit of white noise when she tries to climb up, thinking it might be like that Ssscat product. But, would she think I'm hissing at her, and would it mess up our relationship? Or does this sound like something that might work?

Second:
She jumps up my leg like I'm a cat tree and scares the daylights out of me! Her bottom claws end up near my knees, that's how high she gets. She almost always does it when I'm at the kitchen sink, but has started doing it while I'm walking through doorways (she already scales the door jambs). She doesn't hurt me, but I don't like to feel attacked! Lately she even jumps up the door jamb, spins, and lands on me. It's CRAZY. She also does it when I'm cooking dinner. She's only on me for a split second.

I tried to search on here yesterday and found that I should maybe squeal like a stuck pig?! Today I started saying NO very firmly and not looking at her for a while. I've started to do the same when she bites/nibbles me, which usually happens when she's been purring on my lap for a while. I'm guessing she wants to play rough, but I really, really don't want to. (That's the main reason I originally wanted an adult cat...kitten energy scares me!) Is there anything else I should do?
 

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All the ideas you came up with for solving those behaviors are exactly what I do with my cat crew. Don't worry about the hiss, that's acceptable cat language for 'get away, not now'. I have 8 cats in the house, and I hear quite a bit of hissing, but all my cats love each other and there's no real aggression. After correcting of any kind, it's always a good idea to go over after a little bit-not more than a minute or two- and reassure the transgressor that you're no longer mad. And if it's an unwanted play behavior, after correcting give them an alternative. When my kitten wants to play rough, I'll NO or squeak, wait a little, and then give him a stuffed animal to savage. Also make sure you have lots of toys, scratching posts, and a cat tree to distract her attention. I do have to admit I'm still having a bit of a hard time getting Bubba Boo to stop walking on the laptop, but he's a particularly stubborn cat. Everybody else knows better.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Thanks!

After correcting of any kind, it's always a good idea to go over after a little bit-not more than a minute or two- and reassure the transgressor that you're no longer mad.
I do do this, and she usually sheepishly comes over to me and meows quietly anyway. My kids think it's the funniest thing that I yelp/screech/squeal now when she jumps on me. They cause such a ruckus with their laughing and imitating! I think Smudge was very confused by all the noise. She hasn't jumped up my leg today, though I saw the pose and the look in her eye! Hopefully it's working.

I have a bunch of toys and scratchers, but there are times where she really wants me to play with her. It's increasing as she gets older. She used to play for half an hour alone with a shoelace! Now she won't even look at it unless I'm holding it. I ordered a few toys from Amazon yesterday, hoping that I can find something for her to do while I work.
 

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For keeping her off your desk while you're working, have you tried putting a cat tower or shelf at the same level as your desk, next to it? I used to have one next to my desk to keep them from walking on my laptop or trying to get in my face. When they'd jump up, I'd just put them on their tower and give them something to play with (or a treat!). Eventually they associated being in the tower with getting something fun (or tasty!), and stopped climbing on my desk so much.
 
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