Thank you and god bless

That a wonderful tribute to your friend Mr Clyde.
I'm a recovering alcoholic too and I also feel the guilt that I didn't provide adequate medical care to my beloved Samantha in the period before she fell to cancer.
I beat myself up wondering if I'd noticed the weight loss and gotten her to the vet sooner would the out come have been different.
The truth is cat hide their illnesses, they are stoic little souls.
Back when I was a child none of our cat lived to old age, the got poisoned or got run over or just disappeared.
But now people take better care of there pets and these pets grow old they get ill and they die and there nothing we can do to prevent it, we just do the best we can.
My Samantha became old and feeble over night, the night before we spent bedtime together like so many nights before and I had no clue that she had tumors in her belly.
Having to hold her in my arms while the vet administered the drugs that would end her life was the hardest thing I've ever done, but I couldn't let her suffer.
I had to let her go, it was just the right thing to do.
I wish I could have done the same for my Mother.
I felt Samantha bright spirit leave her small body leaving just bones and fur.
Mr Clyde love you and he knew you loved him, it sounds like he lived a good long life and that's a credit to the love and care you gave him.
Write Mr Clyde a letter telling him what he meant to you and when you finish it write a letter to yourself from Mr Clyde, try to give his spirit a voice.
I hope you can find peace, for me my surviving cat Chiquita has been a great comfort, if your able taking in another cat in need would be honoring Mr Clyde memory.