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Discussion Starter #1
Hi Everyone. We're on about 2-1/2 weeks now since Buddy has been home with us and George and Herbie STILL aren't receptive to him, especially Herbie.

Just a few days ago, we tried a meet-and-greet in the living room with all 3 cats. George is kind of a wimp so he growled and hissed a little bit and basically walked away from Buddy. Herbie is a whole different story. We've learned the hard way that we have to be real careful with him. Buddy was sitting on my lap a few days ago and got ancie (excuse the spelling) and proceeded to get up from my lap and start to wander around the house. Herbie caught a glimpse of him and immediately darted off before anyone could catch him. He cornered Buddy into a spot and surprisingly stayed about 1-1/2 feet away from him and there was a lot of growling back and forth. We thought Herbie may be "wearing down" to the point where he wasn't about to attack Buddy anymore. WRONG! The next day we let Buddy wander through the house again and when Herbie saw him he dashed off and attacked Buddy. He didn't draw any blood (thank God) but Buddy was quite shaken up by this so we shut him in his room again.

Then came today. Buddy has pretty much been staying in his room all day until we let him out for another meet-and-greet. He sat on my lap during the whole thing and Herbie wouldn't touch him. He did come up about a foot away and glare at him though. Later on I went into Buddy's room to play with him and just left the door open to see what George and Herbie would do. George walked in, jumped on the bed and hissed at Buddy and then jumped down, while Herbie jumped on the bed and stayed there for about 15 minutes, inches away from Buddy. I let this continue thinking it might be breaking Herbie and he seemed pretty good - still obviously mad, but acting pretty decent. He did at one point nip Buddy in one of his back legs and Buddy growled and hissed at him and Herbie actually jumped off the bed and left the room.

Does anyone have enough experience with introducing cats to tell me if these are all signs that we're moving in the right direction? I sure hope so. I hate leaving Buddy in that room. It's only about an 8 x 12 foot room with a bed, desk and a small freezer in it so there's not much room for him to play, although he seems pretty calm and happy in there most of the time.

Also, within the next 2-3 months hubby and I had hoped to switch everything from the current "computer room" into the room Buddy is in because the computer room is bigger and we are going to use it for a nursery as I'm expecting twins in mid February.

Man, this is wearing us out. We get the biggest kick out of Buddy because he's such a sweetheart and yet we're worried that things will never work out between all 3 cats and we'll have to give him up. We definitely won't have time to focus on trying to get the 3 to get along with each other once the twins come along so we were really hoping things would be okay by then.
 

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WOW!

Wow, you have quite a problem. I don't exactly know why your cats are acting this way, sorry. I do wish you good luck, though. Have you asked the vet for help, or looked in books, or on the internet?
 

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Yep, I've tried EVERYTHING, it seems. I've asked the vet, looked on the Internet, all that stuff. Herbie is just a very jealous, stubborn little bugger.

Hubby and I were able to spend most of the day at home yesterday and so we brought Buddy back out to the living room to try some more meetings. Buddy stayed in my arms for quite a while and just about the time he got comfortable and felt like getting up to walk Herbie came along and scared him into hiding underneath the couch. I did kind of consider a lot of what went on yesterday to be better, though, because Buddy is finally starting to get a backbone and hiss and growl when he feels threatened and Herbie didn't bite him at all yesterday. He just swatted and growled at Buddy.

I gotta go check on everybody. Talk to you later.
 

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I don't know much about male cats, but maybe it's a question of "who's the top dog" and they need to sort that out. If they ever will sort that out. Some animals seem to not be able to accept "competition" while others don't care at all and are very content with who they are and where they are on the scale of rank.

I think however it might be possible to get them along to the amount that they accept eachother even if they won't be kissy kissy and sleeping and sharing a food bowl. Maybe if they get their own territory at home they might accept each other better?
 

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Discussion Starter #5
We've given Buddy his own territory and he's been in his room for 2-1/2 weeks. We figured enough time had passed where they need to at least see each other instead of just smelling each other under the door and that's what's taking so long. Buddy loves it in his room but he needs to be able to move around the rest of the house eventually.

I spoke with a friend of mine today who said that her mom got 2 cats from the Humane Society at the same time and when she brought them home they didn't get along each. One was the aggressor and would always corner the other one to where it was afraid to move. I guess this went on for about 2-1/2 months and now they're pretty much best of friends.

I guess we'll just be waiting longer. I just never anticipated it taking this long. As long as there's a light at the end of the tunnel I guess it's worth it. Buddy's too precious to give up on him.
 

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It sounds to me like it's getting a bit better. The fact that there was just hissing rather than actual physical contact is really positive. Just hang in there ndkittymom! I have faith that your cats will be coexisting peacefully before the babies are born. They may not be great friends, but I think you would even be thankful for peace right now :wink: .
 

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I am NO expert....but went through a similar problem lately with my 2 cats.
I had one that would do nothing but hiss & growl at the other. I took a wash rag and wipe down the "unhissing" cat with it. I then went into the bedroom with the hissing cat and laid the rag in front of him..... my cat hissed & growled and I laid there talking to him and stroking him....it is worth a try...maybe reinforce it with some catnip or a treat!
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Thanks for all the hints, but I've tried all those too. Thankfully, we did have what I would consider a HUGE improvement tonight. Beginning at about 7:30 tonight Buddy crept out from underneath the couch and began taking a few steps through the living room. Herbie was watching this and ran off to chase him and when Herbie reached the spot where Buddy was Buddy just let him know he didn't like it and basically told him to back off and that's pretty much what Herbie did!

Then, just about 45 minutes ago we had another episode where Buddy was spending some more time underneath the couch. Both George and Herbie got bored with staring him down and they each fell asleep, George being about 6 feet away from the couch and Herbie about 8. There was a cat toy in the middle of the floor; it's where this mouse spins around the outside edge and the cat can stick his leg in there and bat at it. Buddy loves that thing! I don't know where he mustered up the courage to do this, but all of a sudden Buddy slowly crept out from under the couch and walked over to the toy and began to play. He was about 3 feet from George at the time and George woke up but didn't move. He just sat there and watched him. THEN, after a couple more minutes George jumped down to the floor and stretched out in a relaxed, playful position right beside the toy and still didn't say or do anything to Buddy. Buddy was jumping around George and playing as if he wasn't even there.

This went fine for almost 10 minutes until Herbie woke up and slowly crept over to Buddy, whereupon Buddy hissed and growled at him and took off under the bed in his room. Hubby and I decided that it was late enough in the day to just call the whole thing off until tomorrow and let Buddy relax for the night, so now he's in his room safe and sound with all his toys and seems pretty darn relaxed.

I am SO PLEASED with everything we witnessed tonight. I think the fact that Buddy was able to stand up to Herbie at one point and tell him off was a big factor in how things went today. I'm actually kind of looking forward to tomorrow morning to see if there will be any more improvements as the day goes on.
 

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I think there's been a lot of references regarding introductions on this forum, not sure how to steer you there. We have two boys that have been best budds for quite awhile when we introduced a third in December. He was quarantined for two weeks in a small bathroom (easy to clean, easy to find him), then graduated to our study. He got out one night (somehow opened the door) and all **** broke loose.

We've been told three cats is difficult and we totally agree. It was three months before all three could be together unsupervised. We had to keep him in the study, feed them on opposite sides of the door, exchange blankets they slept on, feliway plug-ins where they spent the most time, and slowly re-introduced. We borrowed gates, so we could block off a door or hallway to give new kitty more room and they could sniff each other without physical contact. We would think we made progress, then things would back slide. It took a lot of time and patience, staying calm ourselves (hard sometimes!), and when the new kitty put lay down and put his head on his brother the first time (6 months), we were ecstatic!

Hope things work out! Is there a humane society or shelter in your area that gives advice? We've gotten great info from one in our city.
 

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Wow, I'm surprised nobody has suggested this before.

You put a little vanilla on their back so they have similar smells, in many cases it calms them down a lot.

Do a forum search for vanilla and you'll see quite a few posts just like this.

g'luck :)
 

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Discussion Starter #14
OK, thanks for the tip. We just got back from the ND State Fair (final night) and the Keith Urban concert - EXCELLENT SHOW!!!!!!!

Anyway, we're kind of tired out now and I think we're just going to let it go until tomorrow and then try it. Thanks so much for the tip. I'm willing to try anything at this point. Herbie seems so disturbed by Buddy's presence and the poor little guy can't move a muscle if Herbie happens to be looking at him. He gets chased if he does.

We had Buddy at the vet a few days ago and he said that it's nothing to take up to 3 months for cats to become accustomed to living with one another. We're only on about 3-1/2 weeks right now so we may have a long road ahead of us. I just pray this whole thing continues to get better because I would absolutely be devastated to have to give Buddy up. We grown so attached to him. He's such a little charmer!
 

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CyberPet said:
I don't know much about male cats, but maybe it's a question of "who's the top dog" and they need to sort that out. If they ever will sort that out. Some animals seem to not be able to accept "competition" while others don't care at all and are very content with who they are and where they are on the scale of rank.

I think however it might be possible to get them along to the amount that they accept eachother even if they won't be kissy kissy and sleeping and sharing a food bowl. Maybe if they get their own territory at home they might accept each other better?


I'd have to agree....

when we got our second cat, my inherited cat, I knew Cali did NOT like other cats, but I never thought it was THAT bad! All I heard for about 2 months were fights and meows... Well now I think 18mo later they still don't like each other but they can get within a couple feet of each other.. I think it's territorial, finding out who the "head honcho" is... good luck...
 
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