Cat Forum banner
1 - 12 of 12 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
33 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello everyone. I'm knew here. My name is KC.


I recently had to have my dear Walter put to sleep on 8th August 2004. He was suffering from chronic renal failure. I nursed him for three weeks with his medication but unfortunately he would not eat and he had a fit which left him disorientated.

It broke my heart. I can do nothing but cry. I feel depressed, sad, lost and empty. He was 12 1/2 years of age.

I buried him in a box with a cushion. I enclosed his little silver ball that he used to play with, a note to our dear Lord and I wrote his special song that I used to sing to him, a message of love from me and a lock of my hair.

I stroked him for six hours after he died. I just couldn't say goodbye. I couldn't close the lid on his box.

I carry his picture around with me and I constantly tell him I love him so so so much.

I don't know what to do, I can't think straight and I worry about him.

I have so many questions. Has he gone to heaven, is there a Rainbow Bridge? Is he happy, can he see me or hear me?

I feel that my sadness is going worse and worse. I want to climb in that box with him and hold him for ever.

Is anybody else experiencing this? If so, I am so so very sorry for your sad loss. It is heart breaking and he took a piece of my heart with him - a big piece. Will I ever be with him again? He was the love of my life. I kissed and hugged him everyday until he got fed up. He knew I loved him very much and I still do.

I would have gladly give him one of my kidneys if I could have done. He was a big part of me and I feel so drained and alone. My mind is torturing me and the only thing that will make it better is the one thing I cannot have - him!!

Will I ever feel any better???
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,586 Posts
What a beautiful heart you have.. I am terribly sorry about your loss and there are no words to express it entirely.
I am -- at the present since I long the presence of my dear ones I lost throughout time/and was - at different times when I suffered losses -- torn wondering the same things as you - if I shall be able to see them again and tell them how much they meant and still do to me, how much I love them and how hard it is without them.
I want to believe there is a special place where beautiful spirits are pain free and wait for their loved ones.
But the way I have learned to cope with the pain was thinking of the beautiful moments spent together and how much they have given me during those times, thinking about the strong bond that lasts beyond the grave.
After my first loss, my beloved dog, Rex, I was so torn I was like a shadow for two weeks or so and then even after a while could not bring myself to believe that I could ever have pets again. But time went by and still with his presence in my heart very fresh I took over new responsabilities - new pets that came into my life because they needed me...and I needed to help them.
I hope you will find some comfort that your baby is now pain free and knowing how much he will always be loved - waiting for you , as they say, at the bridge
Feel free to express your emotions here because you will find a lot of support to help you deal with this incredible loss
May Walter rest in Peace
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
22 Posts
I'm sorry for your loss. Three weeks makes me wonder if it wasn't acute renal failure rather than chronic. Regardless, you wrote a loving tribute to how much Walter meant to you. I was in tears just reading it.

As you probably know - there are no "norms" to grieving. Everyone handles it differently. Over the years I've said goodbye to several cats. My way of dealing with this is to get another as a tribute to my furbaby. I want them to know that the joy that they have given me outweighs the grief that I have felt.
It does take time for the memories to replace the sadness of their loss.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
694 Posts
So sorry to hear about your beloved cat Walter especially when he had been so sick. I understand as well as the others here on the forum the pain you experienced while nursing and caring for a cat stricken with an illness. Makes it so hard to let go. Takes time to get through the grief and allow yourself that. And remember that he's no longer suffering. This is advice given to me. Thinking of you.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
33 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Walter

Thank you all for your kind and comforting words. It is going to take me a very long time to feel any better. If I do start to feel better then I will feel guilty because I should still be upset because Walter is no longer here.

What a mess life can be, I sure hope heaven is a much nicer place.

Thank you again

Karen
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,499 Posts
Aw Karen, I'm so sorry.. I was in a very similar situation last Boxing Day. My childhood kitty left me, she was 19 yrs old - her 20th birthday was the 8th of August. I still miss her dearly and what brings me comfort is thinking of all the happy times I had with her. I found real help in gathering together all my old pictures of her. I cried my brains out and I couldn't even post on the forum about her, but the pictures helped me release all the sadness so that I could remember the good thoughts and smile when I thought of her - albeit a teary smile. But Karen, please don't feel guilty. I know it is hard...I know how you feel. But Walter wouldn't want you to feel that way. When it's time, maybe Walter will inspire you to rescue a new kitty and your love for Walter will create space in your heart for a kitty in need. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to feel that part of you has left with Walter, because it has. But in time, maybe that part of you that's with him is happy just to be with him. That's what he'd want. He loved you just as much as you loved him.

Best wishes,
~Tanya
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
694 Posts
I had to put my cat down because of cancer. We did all we could including chemo therapy for him. I would do anything for my poor cat at all cost but then the cancer spread and I would beat myself thinking maybe if I didn't make the swtich from the chemo IV to the chemo pill he would still be alive. There were alot of "ifs" and guilt after I put him down. I felt lso lost even my husband was so distraught because Harley was his buddy. Just last night we both said at the same time while watching TV "I miss Harley!" and its been a month already. We have have 2 other cats and love them just as much but I guess its how he died being sick and all that made it so difficult and so difficult to let go. I thought for the week I grieved so hard over him that I was not going to stop crying. Couldn't carry on a conversation without crying. But I did over time. Every now and then thereafter, I would still get the pangs of sadness especially when I see his favorite perch, toy or blanket.

KC, I know it sounds so trite to say at this time that you will get through this. Give yourself time. Walter's memories and the joy he brought you will live on in your heart. Above all else you gave him so much love all those years and Walter knew that too.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
33 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Walter

Thank you so much again you kind people. It does help to speak to people that have had pets and still have pets and love them like babies.

I have tears rolling down my face again. It is going to be such a long hard struggle for me. I hope with the help of all of you, I wil pull through.

I also hope with all of my heart that is left, that Walter is looking down on me at this time and shouting, I love you mummy and please don't be sad, I am not in pain and I am playing and I am happy. If only I could receive a sign that this was so true!!!

God bless each and everyone of us for we are all God's creatures and we all need to be loved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
694 Posts
Thinking of you today KC. I know from this forum and all the wonderful people here have provided me with so much support by their warm words of comfort and care especially for an illness or a loss. I sure did love my male grey tabby just like a child and there are days even now of sadness but knowing he's at a place where he is pain free gives me comfort.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
33 Posts
Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Walter

Hello again everybody. Thank you all for your kind words.

MA, Thank you for thinking about me it means so much.

I am very sorry to hear of all your sad losses it is heart breaking and nothing can mend that broken heart except the one who broke it. God bless them for it wasn't thir fault they became ill and God bless us all for knowing how to make them rest in peace.

Roger, I do think of the good times and then you know, I cry again because then I remember that he has gone. You are so right, we need to remember these good times and we need to laugh. I am sure I will get there eventually.

Cats are people - yes - they will always be our baby girls and boys.

So much love for him..................................

Karen
 
1 - 12 of 12 Posts
Top