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I was chatting with my mother today and was thinking about what's going to happen if I have to move back there.

I have an Aunt and Uncle who live in New England who drive down and cousins (their daughter, her husband and her two kids) who come from Pennsylvania once a month to visit and they all stay at my moms. I've mentioned that my family raises dogs. Growing up there were *always* tons of dogs in the house in various stages of growth. Puppies that we were housebreaking for future owners, adults that we were actively showing, seniors that were retired or rescued.... when my dad passed away my brother and sister in law took over the breeding/competition and my mom as REVELED in not having a dog underfoot. She has one cat and she's thrilled with it.

Now, when this particular family visits her they bring their dogs. My aunt and uncle are one thing, they have a dog from our breeding. It was finished in the show ring and his first litter didn't produce anything really beautiful so we neutered him and my aunt and uncle adopted him. He's great with cats and they crate him when they aren't going to be in the house to watch him.

My cousins have this yappy icky little thing who constantly chases mom's cat, gets into the cat litter and eats the cats food right out of the bowl. My mom tried putting Zoey's bowl up on a high table and the dog knocked over two vases and a couple of potted plants to get to it. My mom called today and was SO upset. When she got home from church yesterday Zoey was nowhere to be found but Murphy (icky little thing) was panting like crazy with bits of orange fluff in his mouth and no one was in the house watching him. She found Zoey under the couch with chunks of fur out of her butt/back legs and terrified.

I was furious FOR her. I was telling her that if we wind up moving there and MowMow lives there an iron fist is coming down. Mow is terrified of dogs and if he lives there *NO* dogs will be welcome in that house. They may be guests but HE will live there and it's HIS health/well being/ and happiness that matter. If they want to visit the cat chasing dogs stay HOME and are NOT welcome. (she also requested I lay down the law about them wearing hats at the dinner table :p but that's another rant)

Sorry for the vent but I'm still so angry. Why are people so thoughtless and ignorant? Poor little Zoey and her bald spots. She's only 6 months old and I'm sure this is going to make her afraid of dogs now. She used to play with my uncles dog with no problem but mom said that this morning when everyone was packing up to leave Zoey wouldn't come out from under the couch until the dogs were all gone.
 

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I hope your mom kicked them out, because that is NOT acceptable. My sister has a dog that she brings everywhere (we can't go places unless they let dogs in) and one time she brought her dog to my apartment. We only had Sinatra at the time and as soon as he doubled in size they were separated and the dog (as sweet as she is) is not welcome at my home unless needed (I will then put Sinatra in a closed off room) because it is the cat's home, not the dog's. My sister stays with my mom and they let the dog chase my mom's 18 year old cat. I get so mad because when the cat has had too much they lock her up, not the dog. It is her house!!! I just don't get it. Luckily, the dog is pretty sweet (is just playing, will not bite or growl) and my mom's cat can pop the 8 lb. dog on the nose and she will wimper and run away. Locking Sinatra up is partially for the dog's well being because Sinatra is bigger than the dog and not declawed like my mom's cat, he could hurt the dog!

Sorry that turned into a babble!! I agree with you, and I would be furious if that happened.
 

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If those were my cousins, or nieces/nephews, they would no longer be welcome at my house. Period.

But my family knows not to mess with my pets. Ever.
 

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I'm so sorry for your mom's little kitty girl. My parents' dog (Cricket) loves cats, maybe a bit too much. They understand though that Cricket needs to be kept separate from the boys when I come to visit. So, you just go ahead and lay down that law with the intrusive relatives and their unruly mutts.
 

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Yeah, my mom is super sweet and very timid. She's the ultimate hostess. They all descend on her and she spends 3 or 4 days feeding all their kids, doing their laundry, cooking for them, and cleaning up after them. I love my cousin, she's awesome but her husband is a lazy sack of crap and her kids are spoiled rotten. He's also VERY domineering(which is just the way my dad was, so I think that's why mom finds it so hard to stand up to them) so she won't stand up to him and tell him when she thinks he's out of line.

While they were there this time they also invited themselves to use my mom's condo in Florida for their Disney world trip. Didn't ask if it was ok, just asked for the keys. My mother actually called ME to tell them they couldn't take the dog to her condo. They argued with me for about 20 minutes until I told them that the bottom line was NO DOG or NO CONDO..end of story. They grumbled and whined and decided to do something else. Good.
 

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I was going to say that your Mom needed to speak up and lay-down-the-law at her home for herself and her cat, but then I read about her personality and she reminds me a little of my Mom. While my Mom is very good at speaking up to guest and extended family about rules of the house ... she *isn't* good at doing that with my Sister and her son who live with her, so I try to run interference from 3k miles away and broadly hint to my Sis about how she and her son could do differnet things to stop frustrating Mom.

My home:
NO dogs allowed unless they are well-behaved, do NOT pay our cats any attention, are crated in a closed room and attached by leash to a person when not in their crate.
I'd have banished that family with their dog to a motel.
 

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How long do they come to visit for? If they're coming for a few days/weeks instead of just for dinner I can understand them wanting to bring their dog, dogs are really part of the family and if your family is really close they probably just think you love the dogs too, or will grow to love them, as much as they do.

While I don't agree with a dog that's taking chunks out of your cat, and a family walking all over you just for their needs to be met since they're a guest, I can still see how they think since they're family you won't mind their dog visiting as well. It's expensive to keep dogs in kennels and they don't often take well to the environment since they're such pack animals.

If my family can bring our dog - we make sure to ask even though the answer is always yes, we bring her. That said, we aren't often going anywhere except very close family members homes. We've never been in a situation where we are all going somewhere where we haven't been able to bring our dog. That's just the way our family is, we treat our dog like any other member of our family and the idea of leaving her doesn't enter our mind. I imagine that's where your relatives are coming from, it's easy for me to see their mindset since I'd be the same way (hopefully with a more well behaved dog!).

I realize that it is the cats house, their comfort should come first within reason. If the dogs can't be well behaved, then they should be kept on a leash or cage while visiting. If your cats really cat get along with the dogs after you've given them a chance to get to know the dogs and you've made it clear the family that dogs need to be well behaved or they can't come any longer, then I could understand you putting your foot down and saying 'no dogs allowed'.
 

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My cats can hold their own against my dog (who is a playful but also kind, gentle, and polite border collie mix), and my friends often bring their dogs by to visit with my dog and the cats seem fine with it. If they are getting annoyed they will dish out a smack that usually sends the message. But I set limits and the dogs aren't allowed to get crazy with the cats, and I never leave new dogs alone with them.

I totally agree though; for a cat that is afraid of dogs it is TOTALLY unfair to bring one into their home and let it terrorize them. Poor kitty
 

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Poor kitty! Some people need to learn consideration. How rude is it to barge into your mother's house, bring their animal, and let the dog run loose. I don't want to sound like a nut, but animals need to be controlled (aka well behaved) and letting the dog do whatever it wants is irresponsible on their part!

/rantover
 

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Oh Krissy, I really feel your pain on this one! Trust me! One word of advise, STICK TO YOUR GUNS!!!!!! Your mom should as well! This is her home, and her cat was there first. My brother and sister-in-law, as well as Daves sister and brother-in-law have dogs, and though Dave and I like dogs, we don't care to own them, and certainly don't want them in our home. My cats come first, and should not have to be locked away, or be scared in their own home, just to accommodate dogs. We made the rule right from the start, no dogs in the house. My brother and sister-in-law I think at first had a hard time with it, not sure, but things worked out just fine, and we work around it. When they come to stay, it's usually during the summer, and the dogs are more than welcome to come and stay with them outside. They all camp out in the yard, and they really do enjoy it. If they come during the winter months, they find someone to watch the dogs, same with Dave's family. It's worked out really well. It was a bit tough at first, but things are great now.

I think your mom just has to talk to these family members, it's simply not fair to her, or the cat, to bring this much disruption into her home. That poor kitty!
 
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