I can't decide to stay or not when my precious boy Razzle has to be put to sleep. I feel that will be my decision not his. I know I'm going to be so upset-hysterical beyond belief. I feel I have to be there because he has been there for me for more than 16 years. It's supposed to be my final act of love. I don't know if I can do this. This is really bothering me. I know I will be so upset and that I have read it will affect him from me being so upset but I want to be there for the best cat that has ever owned me. I feel even though I will be so upset that he would want me to be there-someone who has always loved me-to be there for him. I think I would want my family to be there for me when this happens. I guess maybe I have to think of him and not myself dispite how hysterical I will be. I think of the poem "If it should Be" that says please stay with me to the end till my eyes no longer see though this is hard for you. God this is so horrible. One of my fears is that this will be the last memory of him instead of remembering happy times or seeing that he is no longer in pain. Maybe he will understand but then I think that I left him alone to die with strangers. I know some of you will say stay because you feel this way and some will say not because it's so hard. My friend said she will drive me there if I need her. I know he will be given a tranq before the final shot. Will he even know I'm there after that tranq? I know when I have been given a tranq I don't care what's around me. I know it's my final decision. I don't know what I'm asking for? In one way if I'm not there I will feel guilty for not being there for him when he's always been there for me, and in another way if I'm there I will never forget him dying in this way. Such a decision. Oh God I don't want to have to do this, but i feel it will come down to this decision. I guess I need a lot of people telling me their opinions and experiences.