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I AM TRYING TO GET OVER A 19YR RELATIONSHIP AND IT IS KILLING ME. FOR ONE THE MAN IS NO GOOD FOR ME AND AFTER ALL THIS TIME I AM REALLY STARTING TO SEE THAT I HAVE TO ADMITT I HAD BLINDERS ON FOR YEARS, I MEAN THIS GUY AND I WOULD LAUGH LOVE FUSS AND CUSS. I MEAN FIGHT AND HIT. I WAS CRAZY. I HAVE BEEN WITH HIM SINCE I WAS 13 YR OLD AND I AM NOW 28 (29 IN OCT.) I AM REALLY TRYING TO EVOLVE IN MY LIFE WITHOUT HIM AND GET TO KNOW MYSELF BUT THIS PROCESS IS VERY VERY HARD. I MEAN HE IS ALL I KNOW AND NEW, AND THE THOUGHT OF HIM LITTERALY MAKES ME SICK. SICK BECAUSE OF THINGS HE HAS DONE TO MAKES THIS COME TO A HEAD AND.......SICK BECAUSE I MISS HIM TERRIBLY. HOW DO YOU GET TO GROW AND KNOW YOURSELF WHEN YOUR HEART IS ACHING AND YOUR MIND IS CLUTTERED. ESPECIALLY WHEN HE KEEPS CALLING EVERYDAY(AND THIS IS AT WORK CAUSE I HAVE HAD TO GO TO THE EXTREEM AND CHANGE MY HOME AND CELL #'S) :oops: :cry:
 

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Could you ask that your extension at work be changed? I'm sure your boss would not appreciate his annoying you while you're working. This was a destructive relationship, but it still might be wise for you to get some counseling, if you possibly can. We women can get addicted to people, even if the relationship is bad. Also, do something special and enjoyable for you, like a cruise, a Community College course in something that has always interested you--like painting, flower arranging, woodworking, karate, music, or writing, so that you are not dwelling on the situation.

Change your normal routine, if you can, because he was part of that routine. He should realize that it's over. Your pastor will help you if you can't afford counseling; there are services through Service Organizations that will charge according to income. Keep your mind busy with great books, videos, and a hobby. Get a makeover---anything that helps you to feel good about yourself and changes the way things were when you were with him. You might even have to move or get a protection order if he refuses to stay away. Beware of thinking back to the "good old days." We tend to remember only the pleasant things. Remember how things really were. Would you want to live that way again? In a very short time you'd be in the same situation you are now. Make a clean and total break. I hope one or two of these suggestions is helpful.
 

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I had a friend that was in almost the same situation. Continue on with your life and don't be afriad to ask for help from your friends or family.
 
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