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Well, this might be somewhat of a rant...

Bf and I had talked about getting a cat, but in the end decided it wasn't the right time to get a cat. I'm leaving for my last year of college in 3 weeks. Bf has the dog (big slobbery beast, remember). But then Joey kind of fell into our laps, he needed a place to stay and I already adored him (I worked at the place he originally was). So we took him in thinking if he didn't work out we could find him a permanent home elsewhere, but it would be nice to have a buddy for the doggy to play with.

Well he got here and the dog and cat aren't so thrilled with each other as of yet, but I am absolutely enthralled by this cat. He's just perfect in so many ways. He's soft and sweet and cuddly and yet he has a quirky strange side that is just hilarious. Almost immediately it was apparently that he was my cat and I thought it was just meant to be.

At that point I planned on bringing him with me to college - I don't live in a dorm or an apartment, I live with my parents. I have a "suite" of my own pretty much - two attached rooms that house my living area, bedroom, office. The bathroom isn't attached but is just across the hall. I have a dog there, she's 9 years old now and will be living there the rest of her life - she's half my dad's dog, we both adore her, my dad's retiring this year and it's just where she belongs. There's also two cats and my brother (who also lives there) just got a puppy a few months ago. In short - they have animals, dogs and cats.

So I emailed my parents explaining about Joey, sent them pictures, and asked if I could bring him along. I don't ask for money or help or anything, I explained I'd keep the litter box in my room, he's an indoor cat, he's 2 years old so not a crazy destructive kitten. My dad said they'd talk it over.

My mom just responded last night. Her reply was: "You already know my answer." She went on to say that it would be cruel to the cat to fly it all the way there, and then turn around and come back. I don't understand that, because I have to be there for 8 months! It's not like I'm visiting for a week! And then she said the most rude, insensitive thing I think she's ever said: she told me to find him a new home and "you can get another cat next year." It's almost laughable that she expressed "concern" for the cat in the same breath she stated that he is replaceable.

I was in tears for like half an hour after I read her email, at least that. I know my mom doesn't really like animals, even though she's great with the ones they have. I know it's her house, and I try to respect her wishes. But animals are the ONLY thing I have ever majorly fought with them about. I have never broken curfew, never snuck out, never smoked, never drank under-age, never did drugs, heck, I've never been grounded. Is it too much to ask for a little understanding in this one very important part of my life? I could have accepted her answer if she had said it in a compassionate way. If she had explained something like, "I know how much it means to you, but..." But she didn't. She insulted me.

So now I'm left with two options: find a home elsewhere for Joey, or leave him here with the dog and bf. I know he'd do fine here - bf was very concerned when I got so upset. He just held me for a while in bed while I cried. He said it'll be okay, that he'll take care of Joey for me while I'm gone. But I still feel so horrible. He's this sweet, funny, cuddly little cat, and I could really use his emotional support while I get through my last year of college. Leaving here is hard enough as it is, I have to leave my dear boyfriend (we've been together 2 and a half years now, yes through all those years of college too), and our crazy dog (which might be seen as a vacation...). I had hoped Joey could make it easier on me. I can just picture him snuggled on my lap as I do my homework. I know I have my Oreo there (my precious dog). I know....

I feel better today, not so inconsolate and angry. But I'm still sad, very sad.
 

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You know, every person is different and some are not into creating conflict, but if i heard a 'no' from my parents, expecially a 'soft no' as you've recieved, i'd press further. Call then, email again, tell them how much you want to keep THIS cat.

Ask your boyfriend to call them too and tell them you're beside yourself and he's afraid of you leaving the cat and having panic attacks [or anything similar]. OR... tell your BF to tell your parents that he doesn't want the cat under any circomstances with him and you must take it with you.. OR anything else you find will work best on your parents.

I mean, everybody has a heart, and there's always a breaking point. Trust me, they will break, they're your parents :p

You'll go through ****, but the end will be worth it, and i promise you, your parents will love the cat in the end and won't even remember anything that came before it.

btw, post pictures of him :p
 

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I'm sorry to hear that they won't agree for him to come. Maybe if you talk to them again and explain how much you want him there they will change their minds.

If nothing else it seems that your boyfriend will watch over him so you won't have to give him up entirely.
 

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This sounds VERY familiar - you are me about 2 months ago. I put a down payment on my cat - thinking my dad would never mind me bringing one home. Well, I just mentioned even thinking about bringing a kitty home, and he was almost angry about it. "You don't need anymore pets, etc, etc. you have enough responsibilities..." I've never done anything either - never broke cerfiew - never asked my dad for anything for the animals I brought home - I fed them - taken care of them and never asked him to help. The day before I picked him up I told dad I was going to get him - and I would take care of him - and he would stay in my room - period. He really wasn't happy at first - but in the end - he broke down and actually likes the fur ball.

I would definitly ask your father and mother to reconsider - that the kitty WILL be in your rooms - no where else - and that they wouldn't even have to look after it - that you'll pay for everything. If nothing else works out - you can at least keep him at your boyfriend's house and send money to help out.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Yeah, I might try going at it again. I know it can be done - I've done it several times before - both the dog (Oreo) and one cat (Angel) were completely me.

((Brief interruption as I look up and see the dog - Zeeke - eating my tube of toothpaste. What in heck?!!?))

Anyways... what I was saying... I'm good at formulating plans and arguments to convince my parents the merits of a particular pet. My dad is a fellow animal-lover and wouldn't generally mind, BUT he knows he gets the brunt of mom's anger over it all.

((Another interuption via Zeeke - eating a walking cane. Where did he find that??? I've never seen it before!))

I don't know, maybe I'm tired of arguing with my mom. I also know I don't have much time - the time it would take to convince my mom, I'll be stuck - I'd still need to get the airline's permission, too. Maybe after I get over sulking I'll be able to approach it calmly and email her back but right now I think any email I send would just be full of sniping and upset her further.

I'm not real close to my mom. It's sad, I know, but she and I are on completely different books, much less pages. We get along much better when we are far apart, which says something.

I guess Joey will be okay here. My boyfriend really helped calm me down, reassuring me that he'll take good care of my baby and he'll be here next year when I come back. I just really fear that by then Joey would have bonded to my boyfriend, and not me. :(

Bah, I don't know what to do. Thanks for your support, guys. *hugs*
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Good news - today I felt calm enough to send an email to my mom explaining that this wasn't just some whim and it meant a lot to me. She replied that she reconsidered and she'll let me bring Joey. I feel mean though now. :( I know my mom doesn't like animals. She had to play a guilt card in saying she was in tears. Gah. I think her main worry is that I'll forget about the cat and just leave him there when I move back here. I'm trying my best to assuage her fears, but I don't have much to stand on - I had two previous pets and both are remaining there with the family after I move. (For different and - I promise - very good reasons: Angel the cat decided from the get-go he didn't like me and follows my brother around like a shadow. I could bring him, but he is really my brother's cat now. And the dog... well my baby-dog, I love her dearly... she's 9 years old, very shy and nervous, and I think a long flight in cargo would absolutely terrify her. I'd still do it anyways to have her with me if she didn't adore my dad - and he adore her - so much. He's retiring and spends all day outside with his ponds, Oreo at his side. I honestly think she's better off there - and dad would be lost without her.)

But now I'm nervous. You know that feeling when you ask someone for a big favor and then it's on your shoulders to make sure nothing goes wrong?

Plus I still have to get the airline's permission. It'll almost certainly cost extra, but we can handle that. I hope Joey will be okay on a long flight. :( And I won't even consider it if he can't be with me as carry-on. Then I worry that he'll meow the entire time and upset all the other passengers.

I worry so much!! 8O
 

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Oh, I am SO happy for you!! :D What great news! Just call around until you find an airline that will let you bring him on as a carry-on. If you are worried about him crying during the flight, look into getting a relaxer/tranquilizer from your veterinarian.....that will help! :)
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Unfortunately the flight is already booked - it was booked as a round-trip deal, back in like April. (I left in May, I return in September). :( So I'm worried about that. I know you're supposed to declare pet-passengers at time of booking but obviously that wasn't possible in this situation!

All fingers and paws crossed it works out. I'll call tomorrow, and then talk to the lady at the rescue. Do you think she'd have a problem with me taking Joey with me??? The two things I could see she'd object to are the long flight and, worse, the fact that my parents' cats are indoor-outdoor cats and they aren't innoculated. :( I know they should be - trust me, I know! - but they aren't mine and my dad insists cats don't need them. So I'm in a tricky situation here. It shouldn't be an issue if Joey is fully innoculated, right?? It's more of a risk to my parents' cats (which isn't much, as they're outdoors all the time anyways).

Oh I'm such a nervous mommy.
 

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Good Luck :D I think he should be fine as long as he has had his shots. Maybe you can ask Dr. Jean.
 
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