I know adjustment periods vary from cat to cat...but it's been a little over a month since my BF and I adopted 2 female cats from a rescue group and my patience is wearing thin
I feel like I am doing something wrong, despite doing heavy research into how to bond with them & taking any advice I can from my cat experienced friends. It is exhausting being constantly rejected and I feel like these cats just don't like us and may never will! I can't tell if they are still adjusting or if they were just never properly socialized?
The girls are 11 months old (Bella is a DLH tabby, Bambi is a DSH), they are from the same litter and were fostered indoors only with 3 other littermates + 5 dogs I was told. I thought this would be a suitable match since we have a part-time dog in the household (I take care of my parents' small dog on the weekends). Honestly, they are angels compared to some of the other cat stories I've read- they use the litter box perfectly, hardly scratch furniture, play with each other a lot & sometimes with us...but they avoid being touched like the plague. I have only pet them when they were distracted with a feather toy, but once they realize it's my hand on them, they jump up and run away. Bambi is food motivated and she will eat out of our hand, but Bella will not eat unless we are a good couple of feet away. Their foster mom was free-feeding them since they were kittens, so that's what we mistakenly did for the first 2 weeks until my friend suggested we only feed them when we are present so they will associate us with food. If I approach them, they run and duck for cover. If I approach with food, they sometimes still run, other times will cautiously come towards the bowls to eat. We try to play with them daily (feather sticks, lasers) but sometimes they get uninterested so we leave them be. Bambi is often more interested in playing than Bella is. The strange thing is, when we first met them prior to adopting, Bella was more friendly & interested in us while Bambi hid in a corner with fear. Bambi has obviously improved greatly...while Bella seems to have a much harder time trusting us, to the point where she will hiss if we get too close.
Due to their skittish & stand-offish behavior, I've pretty much given up introducing them to my parents' dog and have decided to just not take the dog on the weekends anymore...which is heartbreaking :sad2 In the past month, I have kept the dog in our bedroom with the door shut at first and later on a baby gate up. The cats have peeked into the room but bolt once they see the dog or hear us moving.
It's not that I'm dying for their affection (well, I am, but I can wait for that), my main concern is that it's been 4.5 weeks since they've been brushed, nails trimmed, and no flea treatment applied yet. The only way we got them to their vet check-up the first week was because they were already sleeping in their carriers the morning of the appointment. I keep reading & hearing how we should not force contact or try to chase them down, but how are we supposed to wait for them to come around when they could possibly be infested with fleas? One of my friends said to just grab them and apply the flea treatment. My BF seems to want to wait and try to give them Capstar oral flea medication in the meantime, which I know only kills adult fleas and does nothing for preventative measures. I'm thinking maybe it'd be best to lure them into a carrier and have a vet or groomer handle it?
On a final note...I am resorting to posting on this board because their foster mom doesn't seem to have any answers for me. She's admitted to being more of a dog-person and her rescue deals mostly with dog adoptions, but she decided to foster this litter after a feral cat gave birth to them in her garage. She said she was surprised that they were behaving like this and would ask around for advice & get back to me...but never did. I've sent her another email, but I guess it wouldn't hurt to hear from others as well. Sorry if this has been a long post...but thank you for reading!
The girls are 11 months old (Bella is a DLH tabby, Bambi is a DSH), they are from the same litter and were fostered indoors only with 3 other littermates + 5 dogs I was told. I thought this would be a suitable match since we have a part-time dog in the household (I take care of my parents' small dog on the weekends). Honestly, they are angels compared to some of the other cat stories I've read- they use the litter box perfectly, hardly scratch furniture, play with each other a lot & sometimes with us...but they avoid being touched like the plague. I have only pet them when they were distracted with a feather toy, but once they realize it's my hand on them, they jump up and run away. Bambi is food motivated and she will eat out of our hand, but Bella will not eat unless we are a good couple of feet away. Their foster mom was free-feeding them since they were kittens, so that's what we mistakenly did for the first 2 weeks until my friend suggested we only feed them when we are present so they will associate us with food. If I approach them, they run and duck for cover. If I approach with food, they sometimes still run, other times will cautiously come towards the bowls to eat. We try to play with them daily (feather sticks, lasers) but sometimes they get uninterested so we leave them be. Bambi is often more interested in playing than Bella is. The strange thing is, when we first met them prior to adopting, Bella was more friendly & interested in us while Bambi hid in a corner with fear. Bambi has obviously improved greatly...while Bella seems to have a much harder time trusting us, to the point where she will hiss if we get too close.
Due to their skittish & stand-offish behavior, I've pretty much given up introducing them to my parents' dog and have decided to just not take the dog on the weekends anymore...which is heartbreaking :sad2 In the past month, I have kept the dog in our bedroom with the door shut at first and later on a baby gate up. The cats have peeked into the room but bolt once they see the dog or hear us moving.
It's not that I'm dying for their affection (well, I am, but I can wait for that), my main concern is that it's been 4.5 weeks since they've been brushed, nails trimmed, and no flea treatment applied yet. The only way we got them to their vet check-up the first week was because they were already sleeping in their carriers the morning of the appointment. I keep reading & hearing how we should not force contact or try to chase them down, but how are we supposed to wait for them to come around when they could possibly be infested with fleas? One of my friends said to just grab them and apply the flea treatment. My BF seems to want to wait and try to give them Capstar oral flea medication in the meantime, which I know only kills adult fleas and does nothing for preventative measures. I'm thinking maybe it'd be best to lure them into a carrier and have a vet or groomer handle it?
On a final note...I am resorting to posting on this board because their foster mom doesn't seem to have any answers for me. She's admitted to being more of a dog-person and her rescue deals mostly with dog adoptions, but she decided to foster this litter after a feral cat gave birth to them in her garage. She said she was surprised that they were behaving like this and would ask around for advice & get back to me...but never did. I've sent her another email, but I guess it wouldn't hurt to hear from others as well. Sorry if this has been a long post...but thank you for reading!