Cat Forum banner

1 - 20 of 33 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
26 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
So let me open up with my 2 kittehs. Shmonster is 2 (just), Luna is somewhere around 10-12 week old. On Tuesday night Erin, my gf, surprised me with a 10 to 12-week old kitten. Not really sure because she was a stray, Erin bought her at Petland. Now she's adorable, she does the one thing I wish Shmonster would do; snuggle. Shmonster isn't a snuggly kitty. He can act pretty unique. He's a... "I'll be in the same room with you, even lay next to you all day" kinda kitty. A... kitty that will fetch and play with me. A kitty that loves to sit on top my shoulder when I go outside in the morning when the weather isn't 14 degrees outside and I can step foot on the deck. It's currently covered in feet of snow. He is... my best friend. The night we got her it was pretty clear he was un-easy with her around.

This isn't the 1st time we've tried to add an addition, fact, whilst we were in Hocking Hills (Ohio) this year we found a little dog. We named him Logan after the town Hocking is located in. He was a great dog, but he was a lot of work. I'm not a dog person and I'll be the first person to admit it. I am a kitty person and he was a great dog to try out for the 1st time. Or so I thought. I didn't see my cat - figuratively speaking until the day Greg and Leann came from PA to get him. My relationship with my cat changed. I thought forever... at the time. The day he left, the moment I came home... he was my kitty again.

Now... With Luna (Yes, Luna... after the Smashing Pumkins tune on 'Siamese Dream') he's pretty good with her. Sometimes he's very good with her. Thing is - he never really ignores her. He's good at that. He kinda just blends in with us. Well, not since Wednesday. Problem is - is he can't just leave her alone. If he's in the room with her, if he hears her... he's watching her. Sometimes he kinda stalks her. When they play, I can't tell if they're playing or fighting.

As a result, I've been pretty upset with him because she's just a kitten. Grabbed him by the scuff of his neck a few times. squirted him a lot. I've been trying to be her champion but I fear by doing this I'm going to lose my best friend. Make no mistake. He is my best friend. I don't want him to be the typical aloof cat that doesn't spend any time with anyone. I don't want him to change nor do I want my relationship with him to change. I've had similar cats but none have shared a relationship that we have. He's not completely different. I'll confide in that - he's just jumped on the couch with him all the way at the end, Luna, my gf and her Kindle and her dog nestled closely, as well. I'm on the L-portion. I'm happy right now. I need to know they're not going to always have this relationship. I need to know I'll have my best friend back and that I can snuggle her without him looking at me like he wants to claw my face off.

This is Erin --- Just to give you my point of view: When we had Logan there was a pretty distinct change in Shmonster. He was just on the defensive all the time. With the new kitty that is definitely not the case. He is EXTREMELY curious of her and at times I believe that he is a little jealous of her. Personally I actually feel as though he has been more "involved" with hanging out with us if only because he is sooo curious about her. For the most part, if he over steps his boundaries with Luna or plays too rough she lets him know and he backs off. I've told this too Ant, but in my personal opinion, I really just think it's going to take time. It's only been 5 days and I am very optimistic. BUT I don't have the same relationship Ant has with Shmonster. . . and if I felt that my own dog was withdrawing because of the new addition I would be just as conflicted.

In short - I've grown fond of Luna, very much in a very short amount of time. She's such a snuggle monkey. I want everyone to get along and everything to work. I'm just so... sooo...
just, please, ya know?


Thanks in advance.

Ant
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
2,851 Posts
It's only been five days, they sound to be making wonderful progress! A lot of cats need to spend weeks in seperation before they can even come close to being in the same room together. Maybe you've moved too fast in the introduction period, although what you've described sounds like somewhat typical behaviour when a new cat is in the home. Some cats will never get along however, I wouldn't worry too much. Cats can play rough, as long as there isn't any "meerrrow" noises (you'll know it when you hear it) and no blood is being drawn, let them tumble around.

I also think it's worth noting (since you really stress how you don't want your cat to change), that when two cats start to get along sometimes their relationship with humans change. I wouldn't be seriously concerned about this, but if all goes really well you might find your cats spending more time together and a less with you.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
26 Posts
Discussion Starter #3
She does make the high-pitched growl as you described. Though, as I wrote that yesterday they've been great (by comparison) today. So today actually feels like progress! She's upstairs with the wife and he's downstairs next to me sleepin' on the couch. hehe.
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
26,628 Posts
You can't just throw cats together like you can with dogs. Here's some good information about introductions:

Cat-to-Cat Introductions | Little Big Cat

Shmonster is rightfully put out that you just dumped this new tiny intrusion on him with no warning. Since you're only five days into this, you could start over from the beginning, or at least keep them separated when nobody else is home. Things should sort themselves out fairly soon, kittens are usually accepted pretty quickly because they're so small and not really a threat.

And I really have to ask......

Where the heck are the pictures? We LOVE pictures!!!!!! :grin:
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
26,628 Posts
Just saw Schmonster's pictures. How adorable!!!!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
26 Posts
Discussion Starter #6
I may try to separate them soon. He really concerns me when he grabs her neck and just... wrestles her down the ground. I can't tell exactly what it is that he's doing. I've seen cats (big cats) do that on shows in the jungle. I can't imagine it's much different. I want to understand what that is and why he does it. Because he'll lick (clean) her and then opens up and grabs her neck. What is that? I stuck my finger in his mouth to get him away from looking like it was twisting her neck around. It looked awkward and painful.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,451 Posts
It sounds like he's just trying to play. If Luna is ok with it, then you needn't do anything. On the other hand, if/when Luna is crying or struggling to get away, then I would distract Schmonster with a toy or something similar.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8 Posts
I adopted an adult male and 2 kittens on the same day, and I noticed the older cat doing that to the kittens. He'd lick their head and their ears and then BAM go for the jugular, and I know what your talking about with the big cats. I was always watching "Big Cat Diaries" around the same time I got the cats and it really looks like the older cat is doing the thing the lions and cheetahs to to suffocate their prey.

I personally seperated the cats when I was gone, and the neck thing bothered me so much that I would break it up. I do believe in letting the cats duke it out and establish their heirorchy (i don't know how to spell that). And I believe that the older cat should be able to let the younger ones know who's boss, but they're so little that I seperated them when It happened till the kittens got older.

It's been about 8 months and ow the 2 kittens play with each other and leave Mr. T alone. (he got his name because how mean he was to the kittens and the neighbor cats) Mr. T just kinda spits at the kittens when they get to close to him. I'm sure yours will cool it after a while. It took mine 8 months for me to really just let the go. lol Now I actually kind of root for Mr. T when Pierre's buggin him... that cute little kitten's grown up to be kind of a butt. I'm not sure if i can say that here...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
26 Posts
Discussion Starter #9
Shmonster is a big kitten, himself. I remember someone telling me that cats are inherently lazy so if you discourage them enough they will give up. Luna, though, holy crap. I've never seen a cat that displays so much... tenacity. That's not usually a trait possessed by a cat. Shmonster is getting better with her by the day. They were up on the bed early this morning, (like 4 or 5am early) and Luna sleeps with me all night. Shmonster sometimes sleep down by my feet. He doesn't like her up there. I moderate the best I can. I just pet luna and he's kind of discouraged. That little one can be a little pain, too. I know what you mean. I haven't separated them yet. Haven't felt the excessive need to. But I know it's an option. Makes me feel better.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
26 Posts
Discussion Starter #10
I do have one more question. Shmonster is kind of a big baby. Like, with her in the bathroom this morning where his food bowl is she was up on the counter, he wouldn't eat. He'll wait for her to be gone. He's almost stopped purring for me, it used to be I'd pick him up and he'd pur immediately. I miss having that cat around. They both slept at my feet all night. He even waited until 7:00 to wake me up because it was time for breakfast. I guess I'm really looking for some perspective here.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
26 Posts
Discussion Starter #11
So I went to pick up Shmonster this morning and all was well. He jumped up on my shoulders to look outside and he purring. It was nice to have my kitteh back for the moment. The little one was on a stool near him, jumped from the stool to my shoulder to get his tail. Next thing I know he jumps down off my shoulder and when I went to pick him up again, he started growling. I held him for a minute, pet him the same. He just kept growling. It's kinda heart-breaking. The cats play together fine now. He's actually pretty cute with her. It's just like he's angry at me. Sometimes I feel guilty for spending time with the kitten, he just stares at me. Almost kinda scowling. I just want everyone to get along. :(
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
84 Posts
Give them time, I face a similar problem with my cat, it's painful to see the cat you adore feeling so hurt and angry on you for the simple reason of adopting another cat. But they do have their rules. Maybe your kitton just misses spending time only with you, some sort of melancholy for the old times.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,276 Posts
I felt the same way when I got Nutmeg in August. Sinatra is my best friend, and he was so mad at me that I thought things would never be the same! He came around and he is my little baby boy once again. Yours will be too, no worries.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,451 Posts
I agree...they just need more time. When I first adopted Abby, Muffs would hiss at me. She wasn't happy and she wasn't herself for quite a few months. It took 3 months before the two cats could be left in the same room together, even with me there to supervise. They didn't like each other and Muffs didn't like me very much. But they're now best friends, and they both like me!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
26 Posts
Discussion Starter #15
I guess I can be glad that he still purs when I pick him up most of the time. I think I need a Saturday where the wife takes the little one upstairs and I can spend a day with the monkey, just him and I.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,430 Posts
Your last comment is the best. Shmonster needs some exclusive one-on-one time with you. He is jealous of this little intruder and having to share his affection with you. Otherwise, he would not have jumped down from your shoulder when Luna went after his tail.

As for the biting the neck, he's really just showing his domination and putting her in place, that he's the alpha cat. But with Luna's tenacity, that may change as she's gets older and bigger. Give Schmonster lots of extra love and attention out of sight and sound of Luna. They will work out their relationship, it's still early days and so far everything sounds like it's going well.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
26 Posts
Discussion Starter #17
She's a tenacious, little spit-fire. Man... Good thing I have no plans for Saturday. :D
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
84 Posts
Yeap, that's what you should do, give the little monster a bit more attention, spend quality time on your own, no new kitty around and things will be fine :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
26 Posts
Discussion Starter #19
It's been 6 months and we're living now in my gf's parents basement. Long story short, we're just waiting for our new home to close.

Shmonster has never really been the same. It's like he's a little more aloof. He started hissing around the time Luna arrived and never really stopped. There's a stray here and if he see's he'll hiss and swat at the 1st person he see's out of misplaced aggression. He's fine with Luna. They're adorable. But even with me, when we were still in the old house he'd hiss at me. I've even had him swat at my face. I just don't understand the change in behavior. It's like a light switch. Everything will be fine, you'll be petting him, he'll be purring and BAM!

Hiss, growl... something. I'll be holding him... and all of a sudden, he'll growl. Or moan and growl... then hiss. He was never like this before the little addition. Is he upset with me?

Can someone shed some light on this one?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,430 Posts
Cats can be very jealous of another cat if it takes away its owner's attention and sees it being given to another cat. Alkee gets along with her half bro very well, tho they do have their tiffs now and then. Zuba tended to be more my hubby's cat, would mostly sit in his lap. When they were young they would both share my lap at times. Lately tho Zuba has decided he wants to sit in mine more than hubby's. Both cats used to love to snuggle beside me in bed. But lately, if Zuba is under the covers first and snuggled with me, Alkee will come to get under the covers but when she sees Zuba's already there will not join him or me. If Zuba's off sleeping by himself somewhere, Alkee will get in my lap or under the covers and be much more of a cuddle bug than if Zuba is nearby. She really likes to have me all to herself and doesn't want to share my attention with him as much as she used to. And this has just started in the past few months and they've been together for 6 yrs. Hard to get into the mind of a cat, but they do hold resentments and can be jealous.
 
1 - 20 of 33 Posts
Top