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Discussion Starter #1
Wanted to post an update on our household, it's been a while. We have an 8 1/2 year old female, Phoebe Jean, and two year old Bengal boys, Phineas and Phaelan. Relatively little progress in their relationship over the 9 months we have had the boys, but odd flashes of tolerance.

  • All cats use the same litter box, not one "outside the box" incident from any of the cats
  • Cats use common water and food bowls
  • All cats can sleep in the same room during the day, and roam free together during the workday (we are 9-5ers)
  • Still confine the boys to a room at night with water, food and litter, otherwise there are smackdowns, hissing, growling from Phoebe Jean
  • Phoebe Jean is as affectionate with us as ever when the boys are in their room.
  • Phoebe Jean growls immediately upon seeing one of the boys, and stays in a corner of our master most of the day (this is an improvement from the closet). She does sleep on top of the bed sometimes, usually until one of the boys surprises her
  • We feed the cats separately, have tried together but if she even knows they are out, she won't eat.
  • We have gotten all three cats to play together, and reward with treats
Phin and Phaelan are now the same size as Phoebe Jean, and even as neutered males, are very energetic and spirited cats. Phoebe Jean used to harrass our now deceased cat Phantom in the ways the boys sometime harrass her, but she cannot tolerate it the way he did.

Tried Feliway diffusers, and that didn't make a dramatic difference. Just got a prescription on advice of our vet for a medication called Amitriptyline, which will come in a syrup form (she will not tolerate a pill) and ideally be a short-term way to calm her nerves.

Does anyone have any experience with this drug? Or other solutions for cats that don't get along? We are not willing to start from scratch with re-introducing the boys, I hate confining them as much as we do now.

Gratitude in advance for any and all thoughts!
 

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Phoebe doesn't trust the boys, and I can't blame her, as she knows they delight in harassing her, and she shows this by being very uncomfortable to eat with them. I think what you've already done is working well. She has the bedroom for quiet time, and you seem to be able to supervise them well when they play together. The boys are at the age now when they like to throw their weight around, be dominant and likely are larger and heavier than her. So she does feel threatened and has to be on guard. Hissing and batting may not work for her so well now as they will likely try and push her limits even more. Personally, I don't like to use drugs to control behavior unless it's a very last resort. For Phoebe who's almost in her senior years, I would just continue to keep her separate from the boys except for play periods when she wants to join in.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Thanks for the thoughts, I do appreciate it. We really did not want to go the route of medication either, at this point it is a "last resort" though since nothing else we have tried has worked. Hoping that #1 it works, and #2 it won't be necessary for long.

We will certainly continue supervised play, it's always neat to watch the boys watch her as she plays, it's a side of her they don't see as much because she always has her guard up with them.

And we thought she was lonely after Phantom died...we think now she enjoyed being a single cat more than we realized! Someday we will have peace. :) I've attached a picture of our pretty blue-eyed girl.
 

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O my! what a pretty girl and such a beautifuly color---silver spotted tabby....is she a Bengal too or an Oriental?
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Phoebe Jean came from our local humane society, and we were immediately captured by her blue eyes. She definitely has some Siamese/Oriental blood in her, her face is very angular compared to other cats we have had.

The Bengal breeders we got the boys from saw a picture of her and said she may have Bengal in her, due to the spots. If you look up a Snow Bengal, some of them do look very similar to our girl.
 
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