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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I just found out that Xanthe's owner has moved to an apartment, rather than an employment dormitory. This doesn't mean that he can take her... but if the place DOES allow pets, I'm seriously considering asking if I can keep Xanthe as my own.

When I was living with her owner, he simply "owned" her. He did not CARE for her. I was the one that scooped the litter, made sure the food and water bowls were filled, took her to the vet, etc. In fact, all he really did was use her for entertainment...he would hold her (rather tightly), blow in her face and ears, tug her tail, poke ("tickle") her in the sides, and anything else that annoyed her. He never really HURT her, but she certainly wasn't happy when he got ahold of her for "playtime".
Granted, people can change. But now he works 10+ hours a day, then I'm sure he goes out with friends when he's not working. I am certain she'd be home alone most of the time.

So now I wonder if it's in her best interest if I keep her. I'll lose $50 a month, but at least I'll know she's got a better life here than with her owner.

Come to think of it, when he came to visit her last January, she ran and hid behind the fridge. She didn't come out until an hour after he left.

I wonder how I can politely ask/tell him I want to keep her.
 

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Ask him if you can keep her, but be prepared if he says no. I'm assuming the $50 is payment he's been providing for her care which means he's not a dead beat. There is also the issue of you being over your local pet limit. If he does want her back and you were to refuse, he could easily turn you in which would jeopardize your cats.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Oh, he's perfectly willing to spend money on her. He sends packages of toys, new blankets and beds, even got her a cat tower sent here. It's how he physically/emotionally treats her, that I'm concerned about.

If he turns me in (which will be more out of pouting that he can't have his living toy back, than sincerity for a pet's well being), I doubt it'll do any good. Animal Control and my landlord both already know I have her...and while annoyed, hasn't done anything about it. He'd have to press charges with the police, and that's just too much hassle for him.


Anyhoo...as I really could use the money for food for all of them, I think I just won't bother saying anything. When/if he brings it up, I'll deal with it then. Until, I'll enjoy the fact I can buy good quality canned ;)
 

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When I first got Samantha I worked for a company where I go out of town for several weeks at a time on Hotel installations.
With my previous cat Meme I had friends and co-workers come by several times a day.
Since Samantha was so young I didn't want to leave her home alone so I took her to the office to hang out with my co-worker and Matty the office cat.
While the girls loved her, she didn't get on that well with Matty.
Anyway when I came back which was in the3 middle of the day she was furious, took one look at me and rand and hid in the sample bins.
Once I found her, took her home and gave her lots of attention she forgave me.
She was mad because she thought her Papa had abandon her, I always after that left her at home where she was more comfortable, I had several friends and co-worker who were quite willing to come by feed and spend time with her.
So Xanthe may be mad, not afraid of her owner.
 

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In that case, I'd give her back. Not every owner has the same criteria as us, but that does not make them a bad owner.
This was more or less what I was thinking. Perhaps he doesn't care the way you think he could - or should - but you already have your plate pretty full and he does seem to care enough for her. Not everyone interacts the same with their pets, and we really can't go after everyone that doesn't meet our criteria.
 

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So you get to give Xanthe a happy life and keep the money for her coming. Great!! If and when he raises the issue of taking her, keep finding "good reasons" why he should continue letting Xanthe live with you "for some time" until he's "more established". That way he continues paying for her living, the way it should be. If this is the cat that crossed the street from your former in-laws to be at your house (I may be confusing stories) then I breathe a sigh of relief. I never liked the idea of her leaving your home. :)

I think that at this stage he's probably even more interested than you are in Xanthe staying with you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
If this is the cat that crossed the street from your former in-laws to be at your house (I may be confusing stories) then I breathe a sigh of relief. I never liked the idea of her leaving your home.
Yup, that's her.
It was more the fact that she considered my house/yard as her territory, as she lived there for 3 years. So she was confused when she kept getting taken back across the street "Hey, that's not my home!"

This is why ferals should not be relocated, except VERY far away. They try to come back to the territory they're used to, and can get hurt/killed on the way.


I'm really more concerned of the issue of him "playing" with her. Like I said, he's never physically harmed her, but she certainly doesn't like his poking, prodding, blowing in her face and ears. She'd start yowling, growling, hissing and squirming in his grip, so I would tell him to leave her alone. "Aww, she's okay"... yeah, that's why she's fussing so much *eye-roll*
 
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