Totally normal IMO. Some cats just don't enjoy being held - and those who have become used to living dangerous lives as strays or who weren't handled as babies are more likely to be among those who aren't into it. Sometimes that changes as the cat gets older and more accustomed to you, but sometimes it's just not their thing and you have to get used to just relying on other forms of giving affection.

I'm able to pick up either of my cats. Zephyr actually enjoys being held and snuggled. Maisie doesn't like it, although he loves sitting on my lap and cuddling that way. It used to be that I couldn't hold Maisie at all; now I can pick him up if I have to, but I don't do it just as an affectionate gesture because he doesn't enjoy it.

It also may make a difference how you're picking them up. Zephyr likes to be held close to my body, facing outward so he can see. If he's not held securely enough, he gets upset and wants to get down. On the other hand, if Maisie has to be picked up, he would rather be held loosely with his bottom supported and his face toward me, so he can hold onto my shirt. Sometimes it takes some time to figure out not just if your cat is willing to be held, but also what position makes them more comfortable.

 

That's a good point -- not only if, but how. My first cat Rookie hated being picked up; it was like she was being tortured. I didn't inflict it on her. Then came Murphy, who's very happy to be picked up and immediately starts purring. I'm very conscious of being a good picker-upper, like always supporting his rear end, not moving suddenly while holding him, putting him down the second he squirms, and setting him down gently.

 

How are they when you pick them up and place them on your lap? That might be a starting point for them getting used to being handled, very brief handling, and having some treats on your lap. Have them in a handling position as they sit on your lap, as well. Allow them to bolt if they want to. They may bolt at first, but eventually could warm up to the idea of being held if you're persistent enough. But keep in mind some cats just plain don't like it, no matter their background with people and no matter their trust in you otherwise.

I can pick up all my cats, all were once semi-feral or feral. Blaze was a feral kitten and loves being carried around, Blacky was a semi-feral cat that took a year until she'd allow me to pet her and she doesn't mind being carried around either, at first I had to get her used to the idea of being handled, it started by her realising that sitting on laps was an ok experience. She's more interested in having her front paws over my shoulder as a means of being carried. Jasper was semi-feral four months ago, in the first two months picking him up was not possible. I likely have a scar on my hand from him spinning around and biting me when I put him back on the ground... these days he doesn't mind being picked up and walked around with but would rather be put back on the ground. We're working on it... but he's come a long way.

 

My cats are super picky. One of them likes to be thrown over my shoulders and the other likes to be held as if they are a a tube, under my armpit with front paws on my hands. Any other way and they want to wiggle out and run away.

Sometimes they will slowly walk as I try and pick them up, never "running" just a hands length away. The best times to pick my female cat up is when shes just waking up and really relaxed. If you can maybe gently scoop them up when they are just waking it may help them adjust the the feel of it.

 

Oh I don't have to pick them up to put them on my lap. They take turns jumping on me and in bed the get on my chest. Both purr on me. Maybe the issue is that the only time I really pick her up is when she is doing something wrong or I want to move her outside or something. But she was like that from the start. Her son has let me pick him any old way from the start. He is on one leg now while I am trying to type and do work. Even if I gently push him away, he comes back until he gets what he wants.

 

Bella is very much how you described your older cat. I've been getting her used to being picked up and carried, though. At first it was only for very short amounts of time and not very far above the ground. I talk to her as it happens and always let her down when she wiggles. Now I can carry her upstairs and to the food dish.

 

Them jumping on your lap on their own is one thing... but how about you picking them up and placing them on your lap? Like, if it isn't their idea to jump on your lap do they freak out just from the act of briefly moving them from the floor to your lap?

I'm suggesting that's a place to start if they don't like you even doing that much.

I went through this process with Jasper recently. He wouldn't allow me to pick him up ... at all. If I was in a chair or sitting on the ground with my legs out he'd happily walk over and sit on my lap, so while he was close to me - but not on my lap - I'd quickly pick him up and place him on my lap. He'd be unsettled at first, but got used to it. You could also have treats on your lap. Then once he's used to that I'd do the same thing but also hold him lightly against my chest in the usual holding position. When he was ok with that I moved on to holding him while I was standing up, just very briefly, and carefully placing him down (at first he'd spin around like he was thinking about attacking so I had to be super careful when I put him down)... after a while he's become more used to the process. He doesn't stop purring when being picked up now but will start wiggling to be put down after a short while; he's not freaking out, but saying 'ok, I'd rather be on the ground', so I put him down - without fear of being attacked. Maybe in a while he'll not care at all.

 

I can pick up the two cats from next door and they accept it without complaint. However, our Emily, will let out a whimper to let us know she is not comfortable being picked up. She does like to be petted and will jump onto our laps if she is in the mood.

 

Casie didn't like being held much, but she sometimes would tolerate it. When I was younger, I would constantly pick her up. When I got older, I left her a lot a lot more.

Cherry tolerates it a lot more, sometimes she even enjoys it. When I picked her up at the shelter, she just flopped over and let me hold her with no fuss. I would not have gotten a cat who jumped from my arms when I picked it up. The first cat I was considering(very friendly cat, first one that came up to me), jumped out of my arms and scratched me when he jumped. Cherry would never scratch or bite to get away, she would only accidentally hurt me when jumping.

 

My cats will allow me to pick them up but it only last for 5 minutes at the most. Zorro likes me to hold him like a baby and patches over my shoulder but typically they prefer to be left alone and come to me on there terms

 

I can pick up Squeek without much complaint, but she doesn't like to be held. Lickorish absolutely hates to be picked up and will run off if you reach for her with 2 hands. She wants us to pet her, but always watches what we're doing and is careful to stay an arms length away at all times. Its a real challenge when we have to take her to the vet or give her medicine.

 

Simon (avatar) LOVED being held up on my shoulder. My two girls now will let me pick them up to put them in their carrier, but don't want to be held for any length of time in my arms or on my shoulder.

There are people come into the shelter asking if a cat wants to be held. It seems like that's pretty high on people's wish list of character traits. It's hard to tell them that just because the cat won't do it when the adopters first meet them in a room with other cats doesn't mean they won't eventually. But it doesn't mean they will either.

 

There are people come into the shelter asking if a cat wants to be held. It seems like that's pretty high on people's wish list of character traits.

You know, I get that. Holding Zephyr really helps me feel bonded to him, and it's sometimes hard not to feel rejected when Maisie refuses.

That said, I've realized it's not a deal breaker for me. If it had been, I would have missed out on Maisie, and all the other ways he and I have bonded.

Picking up a cat is a nice feeling, but I've come to realize there are a lot of other equally good ways of sharing affection with a cat.

 

my cat loves being held, most of the time.

i always hold him with his paws on my shoulders, so he's looking behind my back.

today i was petting him while he was sitting on the bed and he put his paws on my chest (he gives 'hugs' sometimes :lol: ) and then started to climb up me and rest his paws over my shoulder! i figured he wanted to be held so i held him and he started purring.

such a love bug:grin:

 

With the twins, I made picking them up fun. I would walk by something tall, like a cat tree or shelf, and there would be a treat for them. Then I'd walk a few more feet, another treat! I would let them down when they struggled. I know some people say not to do that, but I didn't want to push them. Now I can pick them up and walk anywhere with them.

 

My kitten Kricket loves to be picked up. He just goes all limp. The cats I got as older adults don't like being picked up, especially Alanna, but I make them give me kisses anyway

 

Mine would tolerate being picked up as a small kitten but hated to be carried. He would struggle when you took a step. I honestly think he was dropped once or twice in his foster home.

Now, at a year old, he just melts into my arms and lets me bring him wherever I want to. Even if he's going crazy zooming around the house or playing with his toys, he just pauses when he's picked up. When I put him down again, he's exactly as riled up as he was before.

I don't think I did anything to change his behavior. I just picked him up a lot. He's always been a lap cat and still is. The people were never the problem. I think he didn't trust people to hold him and walk at the same time.


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We pick up our girls all the time. They are big snuggle bugs :luv I don't have a recent photo with both of them in arms, but I think this one is cute

 

I can pick up and carry around both Moosey and Ziggy, but not for a very long time. Usually when I get home from work, Moosey is at the door so I bend down and pet her, then walk into the room. She follows me and I pick her up and give her kisses and sit her back down before she can struggle. Ziggy is usually right there when I put Moosey down, so I pick her up, give her lovings and then set her back down.

I don't have the urge to pick them up too much, although I feel like when I was younger it was all I wanted to do with a cat.

When I met Moosey at the shelter, she loved being held and I carried her around. She would put her paws over my shoulder and climb up on my shoulders. She would also give hugs that way if you bent down. She has only done this once since we got her.

I hold them by supporting their butt and hind legs.

 

Yuki doesn't mind being picked up but I think she has to be in the mood for it. Sometimes I can pick her up easily, sometimes she bolts as if she's scared. That used to hurt my feelings a little as I've never hurt her but now Ive come to accept that it's just her mood. She'll let me carry her like a baby too and blow raspberries on her tummy She'll come over and sit/lay on my lap or stretched out legs when she feels like it. She kneads me every day and that's our special affection time Basically I've just learned to let her call the shots lol!


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I think that's very normal, although my kitten likes to be held and pet like in the video below.

 

After two trips to the emergency room from bites over the last three years, Midnight, the wild cat, now trusts me enough to let me pick him up and move him around the garage. Of course the movement is always associated with food or a soft rug on the recycle bin. :smile: I don't hold it against him because I don't know what abuse he suffered at the hands of some mutant human when he was young. He trusts me now, and I trust him.

 

Guinny hates to be picked up. Sometimes she will stay with me for a minute or two, but still clearly not liking it. She never has, not for the 6 months I've had her. She is not a lap cat either, but LOVES belly rubs and lying BESIDE me.

 

Ruby doesn't enjoy being held either. When we adopted her, the girl from the shelter told us that she doesn't like being picked up, so we knew this from the start. I got her used to it though and tried to pick her up at least once a day. She still doesn't like it, but she tolerates it and I'm able to hold her for a lot longer now before she starts complaining.

 

Mine don't prefer being held but they all crowd onto my lap for loves and snuggles when I sit down. They're all used to being handled tho.


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We were a little disappointed with our 2 cats when we discovered that neither one like to be picked up. Our previous cat was extremely affectionate and would put his little paws right around our neck, he even did it with strangers who came into our house. So needless to say we got spoiled with all this kitty attention. Gypsy will now tolerate being held for about 30 seconds or so, but Lucy flat out hates it.