The law according to Dusty:
Pens do not belong on the desk, they go on the floor.
Pens should not be kept on the kitchen counter, they are better on the floor.
Pens aren't good on the coffee table, they are better on the floor, where you can step on them and explode ink onto the carpet.
Pens are best kept under the couch or fridge.
The moral of the story: I can never find a pen when I have to write down a phone message.